My Sister’s Keeper
Written by Okorodudu Ope
Sacrifice, care, support, heartwarming memories and unconditional love, these are the words that come to mind when I think about sisters and sisterhood. My actual intention when I started writing this article was to talk about just this aspect of sisterhood, all the “joys” it brings and the importance of appreciating the efforts of the people who care for us. But while digging into the true meaning of sisterhood and also while assessing the actual story in the book “My Sister’s Keeper” by author “Jodi Picoult” or more popularly known, the movie starring Cameroun Diaz, a story about a girl seeking medical emancipation from her parents after years of undergoing various surgeries to help save her sister who has leukemia, I realized that I hadn’t fully considered certain angles. So, now I will be discussing the great parts of sisterhood, while also talking about the burden that comes with “Sisterhood”.
Sisterhood comes from the heart, it transcends blood relations, as members of your sisterhood can also be the women who have taken on active roles in your life, they have checked in on you, cared for you, prayed for you, shared with you, advised you, sacrificed for you and still do; those women who play the role of sisters, through their attention, support and love.
Reflecting on the essence of sisterhood made me question a lot of things, “have I actually been a sister to the women I care about?” “Have my actions reflected what I truly feel in my heart?” “Am I entitled to this love and affection given to me so freely?” “Have I ever shown how much I appreciate all their efforts?” “Am I required to reciprocate?” “Must I reciprocate?” “What actions should I take if I did want to reciprocate?” If only it was as easy as simply answering these questions. But sadly it is not. It is much more complicated than that. And we will find that a lot of times, self-reflection is hard and the feeling of entitlement is extremely easy.
What I’m really saying is that though it might be easy to feel entitled to the love, care and support from someone without realizing the sacrifices being made by this person to do these things, it is still important that we show appreciation and reciprocate if as well as where we can. It’s time to give the appropriate appreciation to the people in our lives and cherish these people.
The burden of reciprocation brought by the sacrifices made by people for us should also be considered. But what actually happens where it’s seemingly impossible to reciprocate? Do we feel the need to force ourselves to? Or do we let go and move on? These are questions to ponder on. I would say acknowledging the sacrifices made by others to keep you safe, as well as happy is crucial, but you should reciprocate how you can, don’t put yourself in impossible situations, just honestly and wholeheartedly, do what you can.
On this note, there’s something my mother says and today I shall impart this knowledge on you: “Do good without expecting anything back, just do it for nothing”. This is certainly easier said than done, especially when we are making sacrifices and basically turning our lives on its head for someone who might not even value it, but I can assure you that not having expectations that your care will be appreciated or reciprocated saves you from a lot of disappointment and heart ache. The best way to avoid being disappointed, is to stop expecting that people would treat you the way you treat them or sacrifice for you the same way you do for them. Protect yourself from getting upset when after everything you’ve done the outcome is not as you anticipated, by having no expectations. This advice is for me as much as it’s for you. Do whatever you do from the bottom of your heart without expecting and live a much happier life.
And most importantly, one might even say ironically: “If it doesn’t serve you, move on”. If you genuinely feel like there is no point to sacrificing at a detriment to yourself, or for someone who wouldn’t sacrifice for you, that’s okay too, do what you think is best for you. Don’t feel forced to be anyone’s white (or dark) knight or even their “keeper”. Because you can definitely love someone and show you care without essentially sacrificing your life or in this case something that is essentially important to you. No one is asking you to die on the hill of sacrifice and care. Abeg (please)!
Okorodudu Ope is a final year student of the University of Lagos as well as a content creator. She is enthusiastic about writing and loves to share her thoughts on her many interests. Connect with Ope on Instagram, Twitter and YouTube.
Edited by Oluwatobiloba Ganiyu
Female, Editor, Medical student, ambivert, goofball, Christian. Always interested in learning new things. Connect with Oluwatobiloba on Instagram.
Published by Akinsipe Temitope
Temitope is a young storyteller who thinks all stories are worth telling. She loves to inspire people to do what they love and follow their passions, tell their stories, and live in the present moment. Connect with Temitope on Instagram, and Twitter.
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