Fitting Writing Around Family
A few weekends ago, two of my aunts came over for a visit. We ate some food, had some laughs, and successfully avoided all the pink elephants floating around the room Dumbo-style for the five-ish hours we spent together.
By the time they left, I was exhausted.
I’m sure it comes as no surprise when I confess that I also didn’t get half as much writing done as I had hoped, even with the entire evening at my disposal. Like many writers, I’m an introvert, which means I gain energy from being alone and expend energy around others.
As much as I love seeing my family, I can’t help walking away from time spent with them feeling like a maple tree in March: utterly tapped.
If I’m not vigilant, an afternoon visit can throw off the entire weekend’s writing plans.
Here are my tips for squeezing in writing around family obligations.
Carve out time for writing and guard it with your life.
For me, that means saying No, thanks to invitations, and blocking off an entire Sunday for writing. For you, it might mean scheduling appointments in the morning so you can write in the afternoon.
Since family isn’t the only distraction we have to contend with, I recommend activating your preferred anti-distraction app if you have one; I use the BlockSite extension for Firefox.
Whatever you use, the point is that nothing short of a house fire or a cancer scare is going to pull you away from your keyboard. And even then, make sure it’s major cancer, as in, pressing cancer. Not the “Check out the sunspots on my nose” sort, because the dermatologist can’t see you till Thursday, Aunt Ruth, whereas this post is due up on the blog by tomorrow.
Now, of course, if you’re a parent and your kid breaks their arm on the neighbor’s trampoline, go ahead and drive them to the ER. But you can still make notes on your phone while you’re waiting around for the doctor.
Take it outside.
If the demands on your time and attention are coming from inside the house, consider finding another spot to write. Coffee shops, libraries and food courts are all good options, depending on how much sound you can tolerate. There’s also college campuses, waiting rooms (see the point above), and friends with home offices if you’re both the type who can work well in a shared space without distracting one another.
House- and pet-sitting give you a valid reason to be away from home, sometimes for days at a time. Bonus points if it’s a paying job, and you happen to have relatives who don’t consider writing to be real work.
Under the cover of night.
Often, there isn’t time readily available during the day for writing. Sometimes you have to borrow it.
I’m a night owl. My creative juices refuse to flow before 10AM, and some of my most productive writing sprints occur after everyone else has gone to sleep. If you know you don’t have to wake up early in the morning, consider shifting your schedule so that you can grab a few hours before bed. Alternately, go to sleep and wake up early to snag some time before you have to meet Aunt Ruth for brunch.
Please note that I would never recommend cutting into your regular sleep for writing. I used to work nights, and living in suburbia meant my sleep was almost always interrupted. Though the job itself wasn’t very demanding, I spent most of my time at work in a sleep-deprived haze. I knew that job was going to kill me, so I traded it in for the nine to five. I’m not going to say I get the perfect amount of sleep now, because as I said before, I’m a night owl. But going to bed in the dark, when it’s quiet — even an hour later than I probably should — certainly helps.
Self-care Caveat:
Making time to write won’t matter if you don’t take care of yourself. If you’re anything like me, you might need to be reminded that you’re more than your words and your stories. You’re a person with a flesh vessel, and that flesh vessel has needs.
Drinking plenty of water is very important, especially if you drink lots of coffee. (Ask me how I know.) As are taking regular bathroom breaks and setting alarms to remind yourself to eat. Stand up and stretch every hour or so, even if it’s only to make a couple laps around the room. Go outside for five minutes. Open a window. Eat or drink or look at something new.
Fun fact: I’ve had anxiety attacks when, in the middle of a task, I realize it’s been too long since I’ve seen or done something new. Hopefully your neuroses doesn’t run quite so deep, but it can’t hurt to mix up your day-to-day, especially if you’re the type who doesn’t get out much.
Keep up with me on Twitter @storyofwoe, at rachelwoe.com, and Subscribe to my Newsletter.
