Lessons Learned Without Making Mistakes
Or what most men will tell you if you listen
I knew Kobe Bryant was the subject of some years old controversy but it wasn’t until last night that I learned he had a rape allegation against him. Not knowing the whole story I wasn’t sure what the conclusion was, besides that he wasn’t convicted. I talked to someone, a man, who helped me understand. Many of the men I’ve known, up until the last couple years had little understanding of what rape really was.
In my day, (older millennial here) most females also didn’t understand. If we experienced being violated we’d feel terrible, but that didn’t mean we equated the experience to rape. I’ve had several peers in my teen years, up through my early 20s, who talked about experiences that fit the definition of rape but explained it away with other words. I explained away my first rape experience until a friend of mine described hers and I realized it was eerily similar to my experience.
We’re villainizing people and popularizing violations a lot more than we’re teaching people how to engage respectfully with each other.
Back in the late 90s and early 2000s, there were just a few sentiments around sexuality. Just a few soundbites that were used…
