GRADUATION…check! Next step, REST OF YOUR LIFE

When you’ve identified yourself as a student for 17 years of your life, how do you figure out what defines your new identity?

I’m a recent college graduate and up until graduation, I was extremely blessed to not have to worry about much in the adult realm. I was responsible with what little finances I had and kept up maintenance on the car my parents loaned my sister and I to drive, but that was pretty much the extent of my grown-up responsibilities. Since graduation, I’ve learned about retirement plans, health insurance, VACATION TIME — that’s right, no more Fall, Winter, Spring, or Summer breaks — and office ergonomics. I’ve had to train my brain for a new type of work; instead of going to classes on numerous topics for one hour increments, I have to focus on the same topic for eight hours a day. Adults aren’t kidding when they tell you that you should find a job doing something you love and I am blessed beyond belief to have found just that.

I’m a Civil Engineer and I enjoy going to work and learning about all that goes into the design of a roadway. I find fulfillment in knowing that the work we do helps connect family members in different states and allows hard-working Americans to get to work safely every day. However, there are still days when I wake up and do NOT want to get out of bed. Days when I get to work and try to make as little eye contact with people as possible in hopes that they won’t attempt to start up a conversation (if you read my previous blog post you know I’m not a morning person…). Those days used to bring with them doubt about whether I had chosen the right job. I was still trying to figure out where I fit in at the office; figuring out the parts of my personality I’m supposed to show at work and the parts to save for family and friends.

This gets me to my biggest adjustment to the world of “adulting” and one I’m still figuring out. Who do I want to be? For the last five years I’ve been identified by my major in school or my sorority. Before that it was the high school I attended or the sports I payed. So, naturally, I thought the answer to this question could be figured out by finding hobbies I enjoy. I’ve tried hiking, snowboarding, painting, fishing, baking, shooting, and running (to name a few), but none of these things brought with them the answer to my question; they don’t define me.

When my hobby idea failed, I decided to try looking more inward at my personality. WHY do I enjoy all of these hobbies? What is it about my hard-wiring that draws me to them? A wise woman by the name of Dolly Parton once said, “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose”. When I sat down before the Lord and spent some time thinking about this with him, I came to the realization that, in some aspects of my life, I was trying to be someone I’m not. I couldn’t find my niche at work because I was so busy trying to fit in, I hadn’t taken the time to figure out what I uniquely bring to the mix.

I found the Sermon on the Mount from Matthew’s gospel to be extra helpful in figuring out who the Lord is calling me to be. Specifically, this verse:

Again you have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘Do not take a false oath, but make good to the Lord all that you vow.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all; not by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it is his footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Do not swear by your head, for you cannot make a single hair white or black. Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one. (Matthew 5:33–37)

I want to be a person whose “‘Yes’ means ‘yes’, and ‘no’ means ‘no’”. I want my word to mean something and carry with it an assurance of truth and reliability. I want to have control over my body, instead of bending to worldly desires of the flesh. I want to have courage in the face of the unknown. I want to be a positive presence in the life of those around me. All of these things are attainable, but not overnight. It will take time and wisdom that only come from prayer, living life, and learning from mistakes.

Since coming to this grand conclusion, I’ve tried to only commit to things with which I am prepared to follow through. It causes me to be more realistic in the goals I set for myself and, surprisingly, I feel much more productive! I actually finish my to do lists and make it (on time!) to everything on my calendar. I’ve also started working out to add more discipline to my day. It’s strange how it carries over to other things, but on days when I workout I am much more likely to forgo the nightly time wasters like Netflix, and make it to bed on time which in turn sets me up for a better morning. When I wake up easier, I’m a happier and more positive presence to those around me.

I’ve also found that my personality traits have been amplified and brought to my awareness. Suddenly those hobbies I love so much make a little more sense. I am an extremely patient person (unless you get me on the road….) so it’s no surprise that I would enjoy fishing, baking, and painting — three things that you can’t rush and usually eat up some time. I’m also a critical thinker so, while I love solving puzzles and brain teasers, it’s important to give my mind a break and go running or hiking where I don’t have to concentrate and I can let my mind wander.

When I was discussing my latest en devour with my dad, his only question for me was, “Do you enjoy spending time with yourself?” I had never been asked that question and it sounded pretty silly to me at first but after thinking about it, it was perfectly legitimate. It might sound really lame, but I’ve had so much fun getting to know myself! It’s added a whole new level of enjoyment to life and how I experience it. If you’ve never taken the time to get to know yourself, I wholeheartedly suggest making time for it.