The Here and Now
Yes, it has been over 2 months since the last blog post was written and yes, it is because of me. I wish I could blame it on something crazy like we decided to go off the grid for 2 months or that we were somewhere tropical that didn’t have computers…only coconuts. However, none of this is true. The fact of the matter is that I simply became busy and too lazy (or afraid, maybe a mix of the two) to write. Nick and I discussed this and decided that it was time I begin-even if it were a paragraph on all the weird tendencies we practice in our house (like going to the bathroom with the door open). Not to fear, I decided to take a different route.
Today is the day to discuss this period of waiting. Or perhaps, it is not a period or one of waiting at all but a time to begin. Perhaps this 26th year is meant to teach me that no matter what year I am living in, it is the present and therefore, I should just live. Every point in life could be a time of expectation if I choose to see it that way. Eagerly anticipating college, the single life, the career, the new apartment, dating, engagement, the wedding, newlyweds, kiddos, a second career, empty nesting, etc. At each stage or point that I have come to thus far, I find myself thinking the recurring question — What’s next? You know…the classic the grass is always greener spiel. My most recent lamentation, “When I have children, then I’ll be happy.”
Nick and I were just talking the other day about whether or not we truly knew what God wants for our family right now. Have we even asked him whether children should be something we are ready for? There are two parts to practicing Natural Family Planning (NFP) — prayer and practice. We had the practice down but had gotten a bit lax on the prayer aspect and asking God whether this month is a month to conceive or abstain. This all got me thinking a bit more as to why I spend my time wishing or daydreaming away this current season of life. I often think about our future family and while I don’t find anything wrong in desiring these treasures that God placed on my heart, I also think He gave me this life — this very moment — as a gift. It’s as though I’ve just unwrapped a package and instead of admiring the gift and trying it on/playing with it, I quickly glance up with a thoughtless “thank you” as I reach for the next gift. It’s time that I find joy and fulfillment in exactly the place where the Lord has placed me.
So I ask you, reader: What are the desires of your heart that have distracted you from the present? Maybe you already have your two kiddos and are trying for a third. Maybe you are waiting to hear back from that job or you can’t find a job, maybe you’re waiting for retirement, for the Fall so you can tailgate at Keeneland, or perhaps you’re standing in the grocery line 10-deep waiting to check out and run your next errand. Instead of daydreaming away our present, let’s focus our thinking on the present time. Finding happiness in the journey. There may never be another moment when I can sit quietly in our living room with my cup of coffee and carton of ice cream without a pair of hands grabbing at my sleeve. I will start to choose joy and contentment in the present.
