I dont fn know at this point// unmedicated breakdown
Ive realized now that I am no longer the hero in this story. Maybe never was meant to be. If i was a religious person then I would be terrified of the prospect of Hell, but i know better. I know there is nothing to fear because no such thing will ever exist. I know that I am mearly a piece of darkness in space. A piece of a singularity. One with all the rest of the “evil” in the world. A piece of the darkest energy in existence. And energy does not worry about such trivial things like religions. It knows that it will simply return back to energy and continue indefinitely. I was never meant to be the hero, always the darkness. And if ego deaths and realizing you are one with the universe are a step further in existence, then something like this is three. Because I’ve realized that I’m not limited by ethical boundaries. It’s comforting to be able to release of the feelings of anguish and desperation that comes with questioning the horrible things you’ve done. Its comforting to be able to let yourself sink to the bottom of the abyss and rest in the bitter darkness. It means that you don’t have to keep struggling to make yourself stay afloat. You can give in and let yourself get consumed. Something is seriously wrong with me but I guess its ok because there always has been. From creation. Because the darkness has to exist in order for the true light to finally shine, so shine.
It’s supposed to make me sad that I had to realize what I am by looking at how I truly affect people.
I realized I’m a horrible person and had to get high to write this. And this is bullshit and I know it
12:26 am, 8/29/17
This cut is feeling great.

