On being a good manager

One of the most discussed and highly controversial topics is that of what constitutes a good manager. What are those special attributes and can they be taught through one or more training sessions?

I started my career as an individual contributor and before switching to being a full-time manager I spent quite some time being both. I was managing one project and was “being managed” on another.

I don’t know if I can give advice on how to be a good manager because, and this is the purpose of this post, there is no clear and universal way of telling. My personal assessment says that I have done fairly well but there is a lot of room for improvement.

If there was a book with instructions on being a Good Manager you would easily locate it in a library next to titles such as ‘How to be a good parent’ or ‘How to be a good spouse’. Sure, there are some basic and fundamental rules, abuse or display of power are never the traits of a good parent or manager, but those of a terrible one.

As a parent I am always filled with doubt as to whether my parenting is good enough. That twist in the stomach is always unsettling and unfortunately there are no “parent of the year” awards or a parent evaluation committee to give me a grade.

Also, most advice like being a good listener, avoiding drama, or delegating refer to ideal conditions. Do not get me wrong, this is all great advice but good luck abiding by it when you are sleep deprived, stressed, exhausted or overwhelmed.

So after much soul searching and self reflection I have come to the conclusion that being a good manager is about giving a damn. The same goes for anything, not just managing, the only thing that changes is what you give a damn about. A software engineer will deeply care about the elegance or performance of some piece of code, a designer will take pride in the level of detail of a design and so on. A manager will make sure to own the outcome, empower a team to deliver results and help individuals pursue their dreams and aspirations. That conclusion also explained why I am terrible at things that I don’t give a damn about like taking my car for service or renewing my passport.

Giving a damn also helped me with my shortcomings. Being passionate, I will sometimes raise my voice or hold an opinion strongly. At the same time, I will also easily admit that I was wrong and apologize. My giving a damn for the outcome and the team supersedes my tendency to protect my ego.

Being a good manager is not a quality you can pick up at a training session. There are some tips and tricks that can help you, the internet is full of articles and books about good management practices, if you give a damn you will find them easily. In the end the question lies in you: what are the things you give a damn about?