This Week at Work
I love my job, and last week reminded me exactly why. I can’t help but be positive with the warmth that April brings!
It started with a bang on Monday, when Mandy found the land mine I placed along her path to school. A nice little green MRUD, tucked away in the grass close enough for the shrapnel to go nearly all the way through. I like to be simple and direct sometimes to get a good start to the week.
Tom got bent out of shape on Tuesday as he made his way through the metal shredder at the steel mill. I’m not particularly proud of this one either, all it took was a slight push. But man, the results were great!
Wendell found something that caught his eye on Wednesday — the trailer hook of his tow truck. This one tapped into my artistic side. Dragging a body for 15 minutes painted a beautiful, colourful picture on the asphalt.
Theodora got cold feet on Thursday as she ran around the meat freezer looking for an escape. There was none, of course, but that didn’t stop all 109 viewers of the livestream from watching her slowly freeze to death. Don’t you love the Internet Age?
Freddy followed his heart on Friday. He took a hit from a mini cannonball to the back at point blank range while shepherding children through the pirate ship exhibit at SkulkLand. The ball passed through him and splattered his heart on the wall, and the momentum carried his body a few more steps. Theme parks are the best!
Sarah felt under the weather on Saturday when lightning repeatedly struck the radio tower she was strapped to. The first few strikes finished her off, the rest were just bonuses. Have you ever seen someone singed like a steak? I felt like a master chef!
To cap off the week, on Sunday Scotty finally wrapped his head around a big problem in his life when his neck made impact with a memorial tree. It’s amazing what a body does when it’s propelled at highway speeds. Logistically, this one was tough to pull off. Getting the concrete barrier to pop up like that was a feat. Look at me, civil engineer par excellence!
I love my job, because I get to creatively deal with the worst of society. School shooters, abusive bosses, car thieves, snuff streamers, child predators, conspiracy radio hosts, drunk drivers…what a week!
