Here Are The True Indicators Of Maturity That People Often Dismiss As Immaturity
All over the Internet, you get plenty of comments, tweets, articles, and even memes about how most Millennials, creative people, entrepreneurs, and anyone who doesn’t follow a certain standard are immature, unrealistic, and entirely lacking in character.
Society has a shallow, narrow, and oftentimes very demeaning view of maturity. People who obediently suffer through a 9–5 cutthroat work environment for 40 years and does that without complaining whatsoever are considered as the epitome of maturity, even when they might have marital problems, are argumentative, use terror and punishment to get other people to do what they want, and can’t for the life of them resolve tensions behind closed doors. People who have prestige and high influence in society are also put on maturity pedestals and have cult followings, even after they’ve been exposed for corruption.
I don’t blame Millennials for getting angry at politicians. I don’t blame Millennials for being outraged when they have it more difficult than previous generations and are demeaned just because of their age. I don’t blame Millennials for not being happy with their broken family lives, being forced to study what they hate just for either a useless paper-pushing job or manipulative advertising job that actually drains the economy and has negative impact on people’s mental health (this pertains to anything inauthentic, but a prime example of this is appealing to base desires and manipulating people’s self-hatred and insecurity). I don’t blame Millennials for questioning terrible bosses who give special privileges to those they favor (for personal reasons that aren’t relevant to the job at hand) while not crediting those who actually do great work by their merits.
I challenge you to think hard about all the life-changing work that could have been done if these people were to strike out on their own and not be shackled up by corporate or highly inefficient bureaucracies which are rampant with favoritism, intolerance, and back-stabbing sycophants who will do anything disingenuous or sometimes, downright corrupt to get ahead, without caring about those they’re hurting or deliberately shoving by the wayside.
Unconventional and creative visionaries have a right to speak up and point out the brokenness within the status quo and the systems currently in place — healthcare, government, technology, economy, education, corporations, among others. They have a right to stand up for what is right and find solutions to problems. This does not make them entitled or ignorant of reality (as long as they have the common sense to make a difference respectfully, work hard, refine their purpose to make it plausible, and put their skills to use).
However, they do not need to be wage slaves or debt slaves for 10 years to prove their maturity or diligence because that ultimately does nothing useful for the economy and only makes people more complacent in their lives. The longer they postpone whatever they’d rather do for personal freedom and for the furthering of causes they genuinely give a fuck about, the more they remain stuck in the grind and start to fall into the trap of believing that their worth is only measured by what they do for leaders who exploit them for profit (and would drop them immediately if someone “better” comes along).
However, people are truly mature for not tolerating exploitative and soul-crushing work environments and instead, finding opportunities elsewhere or creating their own when there are none available. People are truly mature for choosing to opt out of excessive, ego-based consumerism and the insatiable, manic need to put themselves above others. People are truly mature for examining themselves and thinking for themselves. People are truly mature for seeking a smarter and more balanced way to live, which is rooted in honest self-awareness.
And people aren’t immature if they want a lifestyle that takes into consideration their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Rather, they are truly mature when they know their own worth and won’t tolerate being demeaned or exploited by anyone in power, just because of their age and inexperience. People are truly mature when they fight for themselves no matter how brutally others mock them based on much they are lacking in superficial, external, and arbitrary measures of worth.
Humility is far worth more than any outward sign of power in the world and a truly clear indicator of maturity.
You can work at a highly prestigious banking firm or law firm and have relatives, friends, and managers gush over how mature you are for securing an envy-inducing position in society, but if you aren’t humble and you blow your money on prostitutes, booze, and parties (and Lord knows what else), then you aren’t mature at all, no matter how rich, tough, and independent you are based on your job title, rank, and salary.
Society says that people who make millions of dollars and have a trophy wife who looks like a model are mature. Society says that people with Ivy League degrees are mature. Society says that people who work at a job that they hate and never get out of it are mature. Society says that kids who follow everything that authority figures say and obey at all costs (even at the costs of their own mental and spiritual well-being) are mature. Society says those who are uptight, constantly induce fear within their subordinates, and silence those who disagree with them for the preservation of power are mature. Society tells you that these people are mature and you are not, unless you can prove your worth by slaving away to become just like them, while sacrificing your true self because apparently, your highly evolved and wise self is “immature garbage” compared with what’s on the surface and what others deem as acceptable.
And this is why people pressure you to be like them and insist that you should never believe that you have your own best interests in mind. That you need to hand them over to others who could care less about your inner qualities and have your maturity (or lack thereof) evaluated by THEIR superficial standards.
Give me a fucking break.
I’ve known many people who are successful in a conventional sense (and to their credit, they are motivated, productive, and intelligent people), BUT they spend their weekends not doing anything for their own souls because they’re just putting up a false front of perfection and power, and this is largely influenced by how society is so blind to true character. What they have isn’t truly power at all because it’s based on exterior measures of worth and that only corrupts them, establishes a fixed and narrow mindset, and breeds arrogance and complacency, more than anything else.
This isn’t to say that people who have high-powered careers with hefty salaries are all cruel and fixed in their ways because some of them can absolutely be understanding, mature, and open-minded to change. Rather, I’m merely asserting that most people are too quick to judge those who don’t follow society’s rules or show outward signs of power as immature and deficient in character. I’ve seen lawyers who are automatically judged as mature while artists are judged as immature for not choosing what society deems as a respectable lifestyle — to put this quite frankly. Yes, lawyers can be mature and artists can be immature, but your maturity isn’t based on your job title or society’s collective judgments around that certain type of work, it’s based on what’s inside, what you value most, and what you do with everything you have. And when someone judges a non-corporate worker for being less mature without first getting to know that person, that’s a problem which indicates a clear lack of discernment.
Anyone who has a humble career path and has a passion for something other than being a consumer manipulated by advertising is USUALLY judged for being immature just because they don’t make much money and they aren’t interested in being lawyers, investment bankers, or whatever career that society puts on a pedestal.
If you want to know what true maturity is, read on:
Walking away from something that takes time away from what you value the most
If you put up with any soul-crushing circumstance in life for prolonged periods of time and resign yourself to a lifetime of being a helpless, powerless victim because you think you’re being useful by remaining like this forever, you’re not doing yourself any favors and you’re clearly not mature if you think that you can prove your maturity this way (Disclaimer: this only pertains to those in the middle class who complain a lot about their lives without doing anything about it, and I understand that not everyone has the privilege of choice to get out of exploitative circumstances — this is a topic for another discussion altogether, but the focus right now is on those who CAN absolutely do a little bit of something to change their lives but STILL choose not to and resort to putting up with what’s keeping them stuck and complaining about it all day).
Maybe you’re not in a position where you can leave right away, but don’t believe for a second that you’re never going to get out. The more you complain about being stuck without formulating a plan, you’re being shortsighted and bitter, which only sets you up for perpetual failure. If you complain about not having enough money, not doing fulfilling work, and not loving your life, you need to do something about it and put your inner values above external circumstances.
The mature say they can change anything that’s in their control and let go of what they can’t. The immature make fear-based excuses, complain without thinking of solutions, remain stuck, and turn their noses up at those who actually go out and change their lives for their own good and the good of their families.
Calling out bullshit that others try to hide (when the situation is appropriate, of course) — especially when mostly everyone else around you is blinded by their outward “perfection”
You don’t blindly follow anyone who gives a façade of power, perfection, or prestige. You don’t call them mature. You question everything and even yourself, but you mostly are wary of those that people highly praise and follow in droves.
Society seems to equate blind obedience with maturity because that shows how much you’re able to put your needs below everyone else’s, but that isn’t so: you really need to advocate for yourself and recognize when someone’s deliberately putting you at a disadvantage, especially when they only listen to sycophants and don’t recognize your contributions or compensate you fairly for what you do, whether it’s monetarily or socially.
You need to read people for who they really are before you trust them or take their words as truths. It is important to cooperate with people and obey within reason, but you should have your bullshit detector on and not blindly believe that everyone who’s in a position above your own has a good moral compass. Status does not equate to maturity, trustworthiness, or even justice. Period.
Knowing your worth even when people keep berating you for not being what they expect you to be
The more you believe you’re worthless, the more you’ll find that you exhibit behaviors that reinforce it. You’re not protecting yourself or doing yourself any good when you call yourself worthless out of resignation. It’s pathetic when you allow others’ demeaning remarks about you and anger issues influence the way you think about yourself.
Real mature people still soldier on, in spite of these difficulties. Real mature people know their value and don’t need to call themselves valueless when others deem it so. Real mature people recognize that they can do better, not to prove others wrong, but because they have it in them and they owe it to themselves to take full responsibility for building themselves up no matter how much they’re being torn down by external forces beyond their control.
Finding unconventional ways out of unfavorable circumstances
If you’re a dreamer and have the work ethic, ingenuity, and pragmatic purpose to back up your dreams, then you are ahead of most people and are more enlightened and mature than anyone could give you credit for. You aren’t mature if you stick to a limiting modus operandi because you’ll never learn if you keep doing what’s already been done before. You’ll never solve new problems if you keep insisting on using old solutions that aren’t even applicable to new challenges that arise because the world is always moving ahead of you. If you’re capable of seeking unconventional methods and strategizing in a way that helps you grow, challenge yourself, and conquer anything that stands in your way, you’re more mature and you’re better equipped to adapt to an ever-evolving world that leaves the close-minded and those unwilling to change trampled in the dust.
Working smart more than just working hard
Truly mature people believe that working hard doesn’t entitle anyone to success, a fulfilling career, or a lifetime of wellness and prosperity.
If you are ingenious, self-aware, reflective, and conscious of your own strengths, you’ll prioritize working smart over merely working hard on all the wrong time-wasters that have nothing to do with your skills, interests, or purpose in life. Too often, people will look down upon you and call you immature if you find a quicker way of doing things than simply working hard, like in instances when you absolutely need to stop and think and do something different to get ahead — namely, the shortcut of working smart and tapping into your innate talents.
Although nothing can get done without hard work, people seem to ignore that other factors come into play such as innate talent, the “it” factor (which makes someone distinguishable and irreplaceable in ways that others can’t ever measure up to or copy), and ingenious strategies that enable you to get ahead — and these are things that certain people either have or don’t. And if you happen to be in a field where you’re constantly outsmarted by your competitors no matter how hard you work, you haven’t done enough brutally honest self-evaluations to see what exactly your true strengths or weaknesses are.
Honest self-examination and living in a way that makes it evident
If you look around you, a lot of people seem like robots and it’s obvious that they go with the crowd and are afraid of displeasing others, even when this way of living stunts their growth. They aren’t really mature, but people around you who have a compulsive scarcity mindset will constantly stack you up against them and call you the immature one for not fitting in or viewing life in the exact, same way as them.
But the truth is, honest self-examination is a sign of maturity. The more you put power into your own hands instead of relinquishing it to others, the more you can secure yourself and put yourself in a position where you can reduce your reliance upon others’ opinions, others’ approval, and others’ evaluations of your inner worth.
Not using fear or any form of psychological coercion to get people to do what you want them to do
If you find yourself in a leadership position or are simply responsible for others, let people know that you value them for the hard work they put in. That way, they won’t look at you with resentment and they’ll be more motivated to do great work, not because they want praise, but because they feel like they belong and are in support of a leader who actually cares about them and their efforts matter — this is not about “winning an entitled trophy.” This is about respect for those who are humble and still do work even if they don’t get anything more than a simple “thank you.” I’m not saying that everyone should get praise for everything they do, BUT it does boost morale and productivity when there isn’t the kind of leadership that’s rooted in coercion and deliberate mockery of people who genuinely do put in effort.
How can anyone believe that people can do good work when they’re constantly having their morale lowered and spirits crushed by a superior who belittles them and even emotionally abuses them no matter how hard they work or how much loyalty they show?
Instead, not depending on manipulative fear tactics is a true sign of maturity because instilling trust and showing understanding will yield more fruitful results and can increase the morale of everyone around you than terror, coupled with condescension, ever could.
It shows that you are open to feedback and you understand that even though you’re there to lead, you’re still a fallible human being who could learn something from everyone, even those who do the simplest of tasks. Those who use fear to force others to get work done and throw the adult equivalent of temper tantrums out of rage over some trivial, easily fixed mistake are clearly immature, lacking in empathy, and too arrogant for their own good — even though society still worships these kinds of leaders and thinks they’re the epitome of maturity and deserving of respect, despite how much they put others down for their own image of superiority.
Being humble enough to know that you aren’t tough or right all the time
Humility is a virtue and one that most people don’t value enough. Rather, arrogance and narcissism are highly coveted and anyone who’s humble is mocked and seen as less than those who put up a tough front and claim that they’re right all the time.
This is why we have corruption. This is why people put themselves in debt and keep serving those who do not have solid values or the greater good in mind. This is why people never stop to question what they’re living for. This is why people get angry for the pettiest and most trivial of reasons. This is why people have poor impulse control. This is why people aren’t willing to see eye to eye or compromise. This is why people don’t have the wisdom to know that they aren’t special and shouldn’t put others down to make up for their lack of inner security.
When you’re humble, you recognize that it’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to be human, and it’s okay to relax and let go of this rabid need to put up a tough front all the damn time for the sake of proving that you have power. Because real inner power doesn’t need to propagate a false image of toughness or callousness to make itself known or feared by others.
If you’ve ever doubted your maturity because you don’t fit in and you’re always questioning everyone, especially those in power, and everything, especially popular beliefs, you’re not alone and you’re more mature than you think. First and foremost, never doubt your maturity when you have an unwavering belief in your values and your capabilities in bringing your most important plans into fruition, even when others around you keep putting you down for not meeting superficial standards that have nothing to do with character or morality.
All in all, you are solely responsible for who you are, what you do, and where you end up in life — even when people tell you that you can’t do what you want (and this is true in this imperfect world), you can still change what’s within your control in order to equip yourself to handle uncertainties of the future and secure inner contentment that can’t be measured by anything external to you, no matter how much maturity has been externalized.