What It’s Like to Be An Unemployed Recent Graduate in Your Mid-Twenties

I have been searching for my first job out of college for over 5% of my life — and I’m not alone.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels.

“The hardest work in the world is being out of work" — Whitney M. Young

Despite reportedly decreasing unemployment numbers in the U.S., times are still tough for recent college graduates. A whopping 45% of the class of 2020 are still searching for their first job out of college as of April 2021.

I am one of them.

I’m not lazy. I’m not particularly unqualified. I have my Bachelor’s of Science with several years of undergraduate research, internships, and lots of extra-curriculars. My college GPA was decent. And I’ve been applying for jobs and internships like a bat out of hell for a year and a half.

So, why am I still unemployed? Why are so many of us still unemployed? And what have we learned from it?

I can’t speak for everyone else, but I’ve compiled some information about my experience over the last year, as an unemployed recent graduate during a pandemic.

The job search

I started job searching near the end of the fall semester of my senior year of college, in November 2019. This seemed like a reasonable time to get serious and start meeting with the career counseling center for resume editing, cover letter help, and general job search advice. So I did.

I started submitting applications near the end of 2019, after finals, feeling like I was ahead of the game. Or at least in the game.

It’s now May 2021, and the job search continues. At 24 years old, this means I have been searching for my first job out of college for over 5% of my life.

So, what have I learned from this lengthy venture?

Here’s a quick overview:

1. Most fields want you to have 2–5 years of industry experience for an entry-level job. My two years of academic internships don’t seem to hold a lot of weight in the real world. But here’s the tip: apply anyway. You never know if you’re the exception (I’ve had interviews for jobs I didn’t even think I had a chance at).
2. The vast majority of non-government entities will ghost you. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard back from one company so far. It was a rejection, but sometimes it’s just nice to be acknowledged.
3. A computer will almost always read your resume before a human does. In fact, the computer will determine if a human does. This is why boosting your resume with keywords and phrases is vital for online applications. I get the distinct feeling that my resume has been seen by very few human eyes.
4. Lacking a professional (or personal) network is a major crutch. We all know the phrase “You have to know someone.” Well, it’s true. And networking in a pandemic is hard.
5. You will realize you should have basic skills you’ve never even heard of. Not one of my professors told me about SQL (a programming language used for processing data), or HAZWOPER (Hazardous Waste Operations and Emergency Response) training, or that there are various exams and licenses needed to even practice my field of science in most states (what?!). And, well, most of these things cost money that I just don’t have. So for now, I’ll just stick to looking for the entriest of entry-level jobs until I can afford the proper training that I wish I knew about in college.

Mental health

I learned a lot about myself this past year. About a month before lockdown, I decided to finally get my act together and find a therapist. I was starting to suspect that my anxiety was not just anxiety and that there may be an underlying reason why I was constantly overwhelmed, and why after nearly four years of busting my butt academically (following about eight years of doing the same from middle school through high school), I still wasn’t able to retain information from a textbook or finish a test. I figured there had to be a reason why I couldn’t focus.

Unfortunately, when COVID-19 lockdown began during my spring break, my plans for getting help were put on hold. I finished up the semester and graduate rather unceremoniously, and found myself with nothing to do. This seemed like a perfect time to start therapy, as things were finally starting to open up a bit (at least doctors’ offices and such) and people were acclimating to the “new normal” of 2020.

Starting therapy has been one of the most productive things I’ve done over the last year. Having someone in your corner when you’re struggling to reach out to your friends or be open about your feelings of fear and inadequacy with your parents is a tremendous asset. And I finally figured out what was wrong with me.

Maybe you saw this coming from my allusions to lack of focus and attention. Maybe you even related to my issues of overwhelm and anxiety. Or maybe you will be just as surprised as me to learn that I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD. I was shocked.

Here are some of the ways I’ve been able to learn more about myself and how my brain works, and improve my mental wellbeing:

1. Therapy. Of course.
2. Journaling/writing about pretty much any thoughts, feelings, frustrations, or ruminations. Morning journals are all the rage now, but personally, I enjoy a good bedtime rant. You can literally just take out your phone and open the note app, or use Microsoft word and go to town. It feels so good.
3. Watching psychology videos on YouTube. I know, watching YouTube videos doesn’t sound super productive or great for mental health, but as someone who has never taken a psychology class in her life and has numerous mental illnesses and disorders, this has actually been one of my favorite pastimes. Channels such as SciShow Psych, How to ADHD, and Dr. Tracey Marks have taught me a lot about some of my own issues and my own brain, but also about the experiences of others. Believe it or not, I like to get out a notebook and take a simple (small) page of notes for each video, so I have an easy reference for when I need to remember something or want to bring it up.
4. Listening to audiobooks on ADHD and anxiety. As a total newbie to what ADHD even is, I’ve learned so much from audiobooks.
5. Set realistic goals. My therapist is a big proponent of setting one goal a day. Something I noticed when trying to set habits is that saying “I’m going to meditate every day” simply wasn’t a realistic goal for me. I wouldn’t achieve this goal, and I would get frustrated because I was failing. What works better for me is saying “I’m going to meditate now,” and doing it. I’m not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, and I’ve achieved my goal. It feels good.

Photo by Shashi Ch on Unsplash

Physical Health

As luck would have it, the day we went into lockdown for COVID-19 I injured my hamstring. It took me several months to get an appointment where someone could actually examine my leg, but once they did I was able to get a referral to start physical therapy in person.

Starting physical therapy for my injury forced me to take initiative and work on the chronic issues that cause the injury in the first place. Similar to what regular therapy is for my mind, physical therapy taught me so much about my body that I didn’t know, and that I still wouldn’t know.

Here is my best advice for focusing on your physical health while between jobs:

1. Keep it simple. You don’t have to spend your time during unemployment getting ripped to be productive. Taking a short walk every day can be a great way to stay in shape while getting a chance to explore the area around you that you normally wouldn’t have time to check out.
2. Get any existing issues sorted out. If you have the means (i.e. insurance), then this is a great time to work on any health issues, however minor, that you may have. You’ll actually have time to make the appointments you need and figure out any lifestyle changes to may need to make (like new exercises, diets, etc.).
3. Try experimenting in the kitchen with healthy recipes. My biggest roadblock to making new and healthier recipes is learning them. This is a great time to grab some random healthy ingredients, discover healthier alternatives, and improve your instincts in the kitchen. When you return to work, you’ll be grateful to have all these new favorite recipes under your belt.

Relationships

I’m going to be honest here, I started self-isolating before the pandemic. I didn’t really mean to, but I was aware of myself doing it. I just…didn’t care? Or rather, like everything else, I thought I would fix it before I graduated. I’d start going out when asked, and text back quicker when my friends reached out. I’d become a better friend. After spring break.

Of course, I never went back to college after spring break (nor did any of my friends), and my promise to be a better friend did not pan out. I had found myself slipping into isolation throughout senior year, and suddenly the government was supporting it. The words, no, the instructions to “Self-isolate!” were literally everywhere. All over the news, the internet, on signs. And somehow I took it as a cue to continue what I’d started.

Of course, I knew that “self-isolation” in relation to COVID-19 was not the same kind of exile that I was allowing myself to fall into. The government wasn’t condoning my loneliness or instructing me not to reach out. But it sure was easy to convince myself that it was.

And don’t get me started on the shame. Loneliness perpetuates itself with shame.

My friend texts me. I realize that I had forgotten to respond to her last text. I get anxious trying to think up an appropriate response that explains why I haven’t reached out in a while, and also answers her last message. I swipe it away thinking I’ll do it later. I agonize over it for days. Then I realize it’s been too long, it’s too late, what can I say now? So I say nothing.

My relationships have suffered. I have little advice aside from “Do what I didn’t do.” So essentially:

1. Respond to texts and phone calls. Don’t overthink the response. Just answer. Say anything. If you tap “Send” then decide you don’t like it, correct yourself. Or just leave it. It will probably be good enough to keep open the lines of communication, and that’s really the whole point.
2. If you’re considering reaching out to someone, just do it. I can’t tell you how many times I thought, “I should just send a quick text to everyone asking how they're doing,” but never did. Honestly, typing out the words “Hey, how are you?” and tapping “Send” is probably one of the easiest things you can do. I wish did it a long time ago. I suppose I could still really do it now. Maybe I will.
3. Continue communicating with your professional contacts as well. This includes old professors, teachers, academic advisors, old bosses. I actually did attempt to do this, but unfortunately was met with little response. But I still believe it’s a good idea. During or after the pandemic, you can send out a fairly simple email essentially asking how they’re doing, how their role or organization has changed and wishing them well.

Hobbies

I’ll just say it. I haven’t been able to stick with a hobby. I’ve started some, continued some, but haven’t spent a lot of time on any (well okay, maybe a few videogames — Stardew Valley is just so darn addicting!).

At the beginning of the pandemic, I ordered some embroidery thread and actually embroidered some pictures in some empty hoops I had lying around. I even embroidered my mom’s Mother’s Day gift.

The only hobby I’ve actually been able to stick to for years is the one for which I have the biggest incentive—food. I love cooking and baking. Having time off during the pandemic has allowed me to experiment more in the kitchen than ever before. Although I liked to try making new things in college, there was always a time constraint. Always. Time cooking could always be time studying, and that made cooking (or any other hobby) inherently stressful.

My biggest takeaways

It’s okay to be boring. It’s okay to be invisible.

I’m not on vacation. No one is expecting me to pop out of a long period of unemployment amidst a global pandemic with a glowing tan and beach waves.

No one is expecting me to write a novel, or start an uberly successful one-woman business. No one is expecting me to become famous, or do something earth-shattering.

But no one is expecting me to be lazy either. And I’m not.

Just because I’m not working doesn’t mean I’m not working. I am working. All the time.

Applying to jobs is a full-time job. Boosting my resume with new skills is a part-time job. Going to therapy (and occasionally to my psychiatrist) takes several hours out of my week. Practicing what I’ve learned in therapy takes even more time. Writing takes time. Submitting my writing takes time. Reading takes time. Playing with my dog takes time. Cooking dinner for my family takes time. Cleaning the house takes time.

Just because I haven’t found a job yet doesn’t mean I’m lazy, and it certainly doesn’t mean I’m not trying. It’s rough out there in the real world, even more so now.

So many recent grads (and not-so-recent grads) are going through the same experience right now, and it is vital that we remain kind to ourselves.

Here, I will leave you with a quote that will hopefully leave you feeling that your time out of work has not been in vain.

“I learned that unemployment can be the great educator. “ — David Caruso