Släckdrünk — The Naked Zoom Call

One of the ‘new normal’ outcomes of the pandemic was the overnight embrace of virtual and remote meetings. Today, Zoom has become, like Kleenex, just something that we have to have. There is no question that virtual meetings have their limitations, but they also have some benefits.

We can meet in our jammies!

Sure we need to look vaguely professional on top, but what lurks beyond your camera is up to you. We’ve already addressed what we wear with another drink and concept, the Eräjorma (Crazy Forest Guy). But what shall we do with that beverage that lies just off camera?

While cold brew is typically a tool for additional mental and physical acuity in the office, it can also serve as a tasty addition to a more spirited drink. But how can we balance the caffeine hit which cold brew brings to our cup?

No problem. Just add syrup. And everybody loves syrup! In the movie Elf, Buddy enjoyed all kinds of syrup, both on spaghetti and from a flask by that dude in the mailroom who was trying to get out of the flow. This drink features both kinds — ‘syrup’ and syrup!

The Naked Zoom Call

The booze

2 oz of your favorite brown liquor (rum, whiskey, brandy, etc.)

The adjustments

5 oz of cold brew coffee

1 oz of maple syrup syrup*

*dilute the syrup with a bit of warm water to make the syrup less thick and more conducive to mixing with the other ingredients.

Ice

The swirl

Something creamy (a cream-based liqueur, half and half, whipped cream, spoon of ice cream)

1. In an appropriately-sized mug, mix and stir the brown liquor, the cold brew, and the maple syrup syrup until well integrated.
2. Add ice.
3. Top with your desired creamy swirl ingredient. Stir if desired.
4. Check for sweetness and adjust as necessary.
5. Press video mute on your teleconferencing tool of choice. Sip. Enjoy. Repeat.

Naked Zoom Call Playlist Starters

Drinks After Work — Toby Keith

Bright Future in Sales — Fountains of Wayne

Work Hard. Play Hard — Wiz Khalifa

Working for the Weekend — Loverboy

The Coffee Song — Frank Sinatra

Naked Zoom Call Binge Watching

Workaholics — Trippy Comedy Central series about young telemarketers

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off — Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Office Space — Needs no introduction

The Office — This one doesn’t either