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Medium humor. Large laughs.
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Erotic Tales For Seasonal Retail Employees
Erotic Tales For Seasonal Retail Employees
Our eyes met from across the denim table, and in that moment, everything seemed to move in slow motion. I reached for his hand, but I was…
sarah james
Dec 17
The BEST Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe that will Keep Your Lazy-ass Husband Happy!
The BEST Fettuccine Alfredo Recipe that will Keep Your Lazy-ass Husband Happy!
Am I right, ladies???
Caitlin Cook
Dec 17
Ten Critically Endangered Species Who Really Need To Learn To Code Already
Ten Critically Endangered Species Who Really Need To Learn To Code Already
Instead of complaining about how much easier their grandparents had it, how about they take some initiative for once and learn to code?
Catherine Elder
Dec 16
So…You’re An Egg
So…You’re An Egg
Navigating your oblong life
Eric Levin
Dec 16
Horoscopes by Werner Herzog
Horoscopes by Werner Herzog
There is no harmony in the universe — only chaos, destruction, and overwhelming collective murder.
Chris Keilman
Dec 15
Actual Birds
Actual Birds
The red-breasted nuthatch, like all nuthatches, is monogamous.
Ernio Hernandez
Dec 15
I’m Keeping My Maiden Name and It’s Not Because I Already Monogrammed All My Throws
I’m Keeping My Maiden Name and It’s Not Because I Already Monogrammed All My Throws
Thankful I found a man who doesn’t feel I need to change my name or my throws.
Amanda Pastunink
Dec 14
More Heehee's and Hoohoo's
Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown: Flavortown
Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown: Flavortown
“Tastes like Sake, but there’s collagen in it.”
Ben Kissam
Dec 14
Help Wanted: Come Work at Café Mean!
Help Wanted: Come Work at Café Mean!
The coffee shop that’s had enough of your pedantic bullshit
Evelyn Martinez
Dec 13
How to Escape Your Children’s Bedroom Without Waking Them
How to Escape Your Children’s Bedroom Without Waking Them
I hear at least one of your offspring is a light sleeper and also requires your presence by their bedside until they have entered REM. How…
Andrew Knott
Dec 13
I Have Nearly Finished Creating The Great American GIF
I Have Nearly Finished Creating The Great American GIF
Every artist desires to be the voice of his or her generation. To that end, I have been working on a GIF that I believe will become known…
Matt Butner
Dec 12
Looking For Baby Names? German cemeteries are the place to be!
Looking For Baby Names? German cemeteries are the place to be!
Gisela Lost
Dec 12
I Haven’t Drunk Liquids For The Last Two Decades And I Refuse To Start Now
I Haven’t Drunk Liquids For The Last Two Decades And I Refuse To St...
Drink liquids? Yeah, sounds like a scam to me.
Ian Goldstein
Dec 11
To Clarify, Our Company Is Not Participating In “No Nut November”
To Clarify, Our Company Is Not Participating In “No Nut November”
We apologize for the inconvenience.
Tom Geiger
Dec 11
If All The Bees Are Dying, Then Why Does An Enormous Swarm Of Them Carry Off My Car Every Morning?
If All The Bees Are Dying, Then Why Does An Enormous Swarm Of Them ...
I ask you, is that the behavior of a species on the brink?
Spencer Roth-Rose
Dec 10
Fund My Holiday Over-Spending With Essential Oils!
Fund My Holiday Over-Spending With Essential Oils!
Hey everyone! It’s that time of year again.
Michael Milburn
Dec 10
Be The Change You Wish To See In The World, Gradually, Without Disrupting Your Personal Life
Be The Change You Wish To See In The World, Gradually, Without Disr...
And other quotes to live by that don’t ask too much of you
Janelle Blasdel
Dec 9
Totally Non-Condescending Tips From A Medium Writer Who’s Better Than You
Totally Non-Condescending Tips From A Medium Writer Who’s Better Th...
Spoiler: Stop sucking.
Michael Rudden
Dec 9
Sorry!— Our Incubator Has Rejected Your Startup
Sorry!— Our Incubator Has Rejected Your Startup
In addition to your lack of inventiveness as an infant, we took issue with your founding team having completed multiple types of formal…
Anthony DeThomas
Dec 9
A Humorist’s Residency Application
A Humorist’s Residency Application
Thank you for considering my application for a residency at Pine Whispers Artists’ Colony.
Shana Genre
Dec 8
I’m Your Medical Bill Translator Here To Explain Our Very Reasonable Charges.
I’m Your Medical Bill Translator Here To Explain Our Very Reasonabl...
Rest assured I don’t work for the hospital or the insurance company, just their lobbyists.
Shannon Carpenter
Dec 8
A Friend Officiated Our Wedding And Now My Husband’s Dead
A Friend Officiated Our Wedding And Now My Husband’s Dead
But at least we saved money
Christopher Shelley
Dec 7
Imagined Tiny Desk Concerts
Imagined Tiny Desk Concerts
Visions of the close-quarters performances at NPR Music that never were.
Megan McMurtry
Dec 7
So You’ve Broken Into the Seinfeld Apartment Exhibit. Now What?
So You’ve Broken Into the Seinfeld Apartment Exhibit. Now What?
The “Seinfeld Experience”’s pop-up recreation of Jerry’s apartment from the hit show Seinfeld allows fans to step inside the world…
Hoff Matthews
Dec 6
Inspiring Quotes About Journalism I Like to Share With Journalists Just in Case It Helps
Inspiring Quotes About Journalism I Like to Share With Journalists ...
In the face of political unrest and upheaval, the role of the journalist is more difficult — and more important — than ever. No one knows…
Riane Konc
Dec 6
Creative Photo Ideas For Your Favorite Inspirational Quotes
Creative Photo Ideas For Your Favorite Inspirational Quotes
An Instagram guide
Lindsey Adams
Dec 5
I Moved to New York to Fulfill My Dream of Moving to L.A. to Talk About Living In New York
I Moved to New York to Fulfill My Dream of Moving to L.A. to Talk A...
I grew up on the poor side of Asskrack, Wisconsin. Even though my clothes smelled like dairy farm runoff…
Brian Mallman
Dec 5
Jeff Bezos’s Lazy Saturday Morning Routine
Jeff Bezos’s Lazy Saturday Morning Routine
5:15 AM: Internal performance optimization alarm activated. Eyes fly open. Strangled war cry escapes mouth. Fist reflexively punches air.
Molly Henderson
Dec 4
How To Pick Up Girls According To Your Dentist
How To Pick Up Girls According To Your Dentist
It’s time to open wide and close those dating apps.
Nathan Whipple
Dec 4
If Larry David Was a Houseguest on Big Brother
If Larry David Was a Houseguest on Big Brother
“Highly suspicious, Larry squints his eyes while backing slowly out of the Have-Not room.”
David Farr
Dec 3
What Your Favorite LaCroix Flavor Says About Your Dating Life
What Your Favorite LaCroix Flavor Says About Your Dating Life
Read the mystic bubbles and behold the future! Besides the stomach upset — that’s a given.
Martti
Dec 3
Hotel California In The Information Age
Hotel California In The Information Age
You can check out anytime you like with the mobile app, but you have to visit the front desk to return your room key.
Thom King
Dec 2
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