10 Easy Ways To Tell Someone They’re Fat, Inspired By My Mother

Unsolicited gems of advice from a top weight loss coach

Photo by Elena Leya on Unsplash

If you have someone in your life who’s put on a couple of extra pounds, my mother has perfected countless strategies for letting people know they need to lose weight. Feel free to apply these unwanted, unasked-for, and undesired tactics to your friends and family.

1. When a fat person stops by for a visit, open the door, look them up and down, and let out a loud disapproving sigh. If the fat person doesn’t get what the sigh is for, simply add, “You’ve eaten yourself into oblivion.”
2. When you’re out to dinner, and the server places the bread basket down, grab it and move it across the table out of reach of the fat person.
3. If a fat person is dating, casually mention that “most men would rather date a thin woman rather than a fat woman.” Then, without a doubt, say it was in a study from Princeton University even if it wasn’t.
4. Always inform fat people that “I could tie a handkerchief around my waist on my wedding day.” Then, get out an old photo album to prove it.
5. When a fat person is wearing shorts and crossing their legs, feel free to let them know, “Your thigh looks like a ham hock.” If they get offended, tell them, “I’m the…