2023 Reality TV Shows
Love Is Deaf and Mute, RuPaul’s Presidential Race, Survivor: Iowa, and more.
Love Is Deaf and Mute
Obviously love isn’t blind; otherwise TV producers wouldn’t keep picking attractive people for romance reality shows. The real question is whether love can speak and hear — and whether not being able to in fact facilitates relationships. Could grandma’s secret to fifty years of marriage be not having heard grandpa for the past twenty-five?
Hosting this hypothesis- and control-group-free “social experiment” are renowned cultural anthropologists Nick and Vanessa Lachey. After greeting participants and expounding on the importance of body language, the Lacheys dispatch them to “the pods.” In these pairs of adjoining rooms, separated by a wall of soundproof glass, subjects meet for wordless conversation and charades.
The show’s climax comes when, after finding their soulmates and getting engaged, the new couples try living together in the “real world” at a luxury villa on Santorini. Forty-eight hours later, their future in-laws show up. After a week, they’re given a wedding ceremony on a cliff overlooking the ocean. At the altar, they may either say “I do” or run screaming down the aisle and hurl themselves into the sea.
The Great British BBQ Show
Those animals bleating and quacking between Great British Baking Show segments? The only noise they’ll make in this spinoff is a sizzle upon hitting the grill. Baking Show producers have been fattening them for prime time — or, as the marketing team is spinning it, prime-rib time.
By now, everyone knows that Brits excel at puddings and tarts. But how about slabs of pork oozing enough fat to soak a dozen tea towels? Watch Nigel wonder what the bloody hell brisket is while Phyllida tries not to think about how baby-back ribs got their name. The Great British BBQ Show tests the limits of contestants’ culinary skills — and their civility. Which of these endearingly good sports will be the first to crack and tell Paul Hollywood where he can put his steak-kebab skewer if he doesn’t like it?
Hollywood co-hosts with Paula Deen and, for comic relief, Noel Fielding and Jeff Foxworthy (“You might be a redneck if you’ve made any of these recipes”).
RuPaul’s Presidential Race
Unimpressed by Biden, dubious about Harris, and terrified of Trump rising again, like an apocalyptic orange sun in a smog-filled sky? So is this cast of drag queens, who have vowed to take their country back and make America glam again. Serving chief-executive realness, they take on today’s most pressing issues: climate change, racial injustice, and whatever the other ones are. Relax, henny — there’s no problem a hot-glue gun and some padding can’t fix.
The all-star-and-stripes cast includes Geri Mandering, Sue Purr Majority, Miss Information, Colleen Danational Guard, and Marjorie Taylor Kween. In each episode, they’re given a challenge, like naming a member of Congress, before “bringing it to the Beltway” in a fashion show for the judges. Whichever two are deemed the most conservative dressers must face off in a lip-synch for their life style. At the end of the season, the last queen remaining receives a campaign donation of $100,000 and a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills yard signs.
Survivor: Iowa
Sixteen coastal élites are left to fend for themselves in a cornfield. Divided into two teams, or “denominations,” they must work together to protect against chiggers, Republicans, and other local predators. Each denomination gets a green-bean casserole to start; after that, they must shop for groceries at Wal-Mart.
While stranded in this cultural desert, players compete in challenges supervised by the series’ host, Garrison Keillor. (He doesn’t have a lot of options these days.) The competitions draw on native customs to push the contestants to their physical and mental limits. Some test physical prowess (throwing a football); some require solving puzzles (finding Nebraska on a map); some demand street smarts (driving a car down the street).
At the end of each episode, the losing denomination convenes with Keillor for a moral reckoning. One player is cast out and has their votive candle snuffed. By the finale, only one remains: the “soul survivor.” They win $3,000, which goes pretty far in Iowa.
Is It Seven-Layer Bean Dip?
Contestants are presented with a batch of five seemingly everyday objects, one of which is actually seven-layer bean dip. The other four are signs that viewers are wasting their lives on Netflix. Hosted by Tucker Carlson, who is still less abrasive than Mikey Day.
