6 Parties To Have Between Your Gender Reveal And Your Baby Shower

If you play your cards right, you can get away with never having to buy anything for the first year of your new child’s life.

Lauren Harsh
Jun 2, 2020 · 4 min read
photo by Alicia Petresc via Unsplash

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Now that you’re growing a life, the world should revolve around you. Of course, by that, we don’t mean this country should enact policies that would make life easier for pregnant people and parents of small children. We mean everyone should give you an unending stream of attention!

Having your gender reveal as a separate event from the baby shower could mean double the gifts. Why stop there? Make the next nine months all about you with these additional party ideas. If you play your cards right, you can get away with never having to buy anything for the first year of your new child’s life.

Name Duel

If anyone else who you know or who knows someone you know is currently pregnant and considering the name that you have claimed for your child, declare a duel. If there are several of them, make it a tournament. Invite the whole town to watch it all go down and bring a baby gift for admission. Kitchen knives, craft scissors, and light building tools are all great weapon choices. The first to draw blood wins each round and the last preggo standing at the end gets the name and the whole pile of gifts. Repeat as many times as you need to. If you have a popular name in mind, train with a professional before the event. You don’t want to get stuck naming your baby something like Phyllis or Walter.

Expectation Pushing Party

Fawn Over Your Pregnancy Photo Shoot Party

Judgment On Your Pregnancy-Related Choices Party

Half-Baked Parenting Advice Party

There you have it! Now, you may be wondering if people will come to these parties if they’ve never heard of them before, but I wouldn’t be concerned about that. Gender reveals as we know them today have existed for less than ten years, but marketing and peer pressure have convinced the masses that they’re an essential part of any pregnancy. Ignore the haters! They may think these parties are tacky now, but they’ll jump on the bandwagon in a few years when they’re pregnant and all their friends have had them.

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Lauren Harsh

Written by

Lauren is a Chicago-based comedy writer with bylines in The Belladonna, Little Old Lady Comedy, Slackjaw, Points in Case, Sally Mag and Buzzfeed. They/Them

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Lauren Harsh

Written by

Lauren is a Chicago-based comedy writer with bylines in The Belladonna, Little Old Lady Comedy, Slackjaw, Points in Case, Sally Mag and Buzzfeed. They/Them

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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