7 Quotes From Stoic Philosophers That Made Me Lose My Goddamn Mind
What in the fresh hell is all this stoic book shit that my ex-wife Sharon left on the coffee table? Let me take a look…
Put from you the belief that ‘I have been wronged’, and with it will go the feeling. Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears. — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Are you a complete moron, Marcus? When that PBR-swillin’ joker tangled with me at Dave’s tailgate last week, and that cockswain sucker-punched me in the jaw after I barely provoked him, you want me to say, “Hey, thanks, my jaw feels great. We’re all hunky dory here, friends.” Horseshit, man. That’s not how fighting works!
Fucking Sharon! I don’t need this pig crap. I need to ice the old jawbone.
To refrain from imitation is the best revenge. — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
No, no, no. Marcus, you dipshit. The best revenge is to find the cock-face who busted your lip, strut up to him at the honky bar, and steal his chick with your superior dance moves. Specifically, you should glide like a hot chickadee while blasting your pelvis. I call it “The Rooster.” Then you tell him to suck your balls. Then you key his BMW Z3 Roadster.
Anyway, what kinda fresh chode drives a new beamer? I think he’s one of those fuckin…
