7 Things to Do During This Zoom Meeting Other Than Your Job
1. Perform self-surgery.
That cuticle is looking mighty ripe. If you just tear it off, no big, right? So what if it’s on your pinky toe? (Wait, is that what you call your little toe? This sounds like an investigation for Google!)
Oh no! Now it’s bleeding. Will your toe need to be amputated now? Let’s just take a look on WebMD…holy shit! There are like 54 fatal toe diseases you never knew about, and you definitely have all of them.
Time to sign off and head to the ER. Sorry, team. I know this discussion about whether you should all adopt a blanket policy on Slack alert sounds is VITAL.
2. Drink.
Did you know that vodka is the exact same color as water? Did you know that a Tito’s and soda looks exactly like a seltzer? (Maybe skip the lime, though.)
Or, you can just drink wine out of a mug like a real adult.
3. Inhale the contents of your refrigerator.
Turn your camera off while you “look something up.” Dammit, there’s nothing in the fridge except ketchup and shredded cheese. Well, at least you’ve got your protein and vegetables (why are tomatoes considered fruit?). Feast on that Kraft cheddar and squirt the ketchup…
