A Bedtime Prayer For Single Women In Their Thirties
Now I lay me down to sleep . . .
May the melatonin kick in swiftly.
May the pillow be cool.
May the upstairs neighbor remember to take off her heels when she gets home instead of clomping around like some nightmarish cloven elephant.
May the cat sleep soundly somewhere within petting distance.
May I wake with my first alarm,
May the morning coffee be strong,
And may I feel motivated to exercise before work.
May the underground zit I can feel on my nose never grow to see the light of day.
May my dreams be sweet.
May my slumber be deep.
May my boss appreciate my presentation on Friday.
Like, the kind of “appreciate” that’s spelled R-A-I-S-E.
And also may there be a snow day tomorrow so I can work from home.
But if there can be no snow day and I have to go into the office, may someone bring good snacks to share.
Goodnight, Moon.
Follow Slackjaw on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and get our best stories once a month by email.
