Member-only story
A Critical Architectural Review Of Valhalla
The excessive litter of maimed and mutilated body parts contribute to its negative and uninviting experiential qualities
Valhalla, the most highly-touted Norse hall of the slain, has irrefutably been one of the most famous buildings of any sort ever since its construction was completed in ancient Asgard. Its massive military-grade infrastructure, boisterous undead occupants, and otherworldly afterlife parties are well-known throughout all of the 9 Worlds. Unfortunately, Valhalla’s actual physical design also represents an absolute failure in terms of architectural quality.
Simply put, Valhalla is an utter disaster when it comes to functionality. The building was constructed to house and feed countless corporeal spirit warriors as they await the final, universe-shattering battle of the gods — this is its primary reason for existence. Thus, the decision to build Valhalla as a single, massive structure intended to accommodate all services for all inhabitants not only lacks a rational sense of scale, but also mocks its own purpose by eliminating any semblance of practical functionality. Pervasive spatial incoherence, rampant interior circulation congestion, and a relentless absence of personal privacy are just a few of the problems that result from Valhalla’s eternally…
