A DJ Explains Why 90 Straight Minutes Of “Come On Eileen” At Your Wedding Reception Is A Bad Idea
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, ay
Dear Paige,
Thanks so much for your note. In three weeks, we’re gonna have the most kick-ass wedding reception ever!
You’ve given the music a lot of thought and I appreciate that. I do.
And when you say, “This is my fucking wedding and I will hear what I fucking want to hear for a fucking change,” I hear you.
As your DJ, I promise you will get to fucking hear what you fucking want to hear for a fucking change.
What you will not be hearing at your reception, however, is a 90-minute version of “Come On Eileen.”
Paige, if there’s one thing I’ve learned behind the turntables, it’s this: People have a God-given right to dress up, get piss-faced, and dance to crap songs. As a result we’ve all suffered through some unforgivable shit at receptions, and I deserve to roast in Hell for playing “The Chicken Dance,” “Achy Breaky Heart,” and “The Macarena.”
At her wedding, your sister Amy refused to play “Come On Eileen” no matter how many times you asked, but insisted on six encores of “Sweet Caroline.” Good times never seemed so bad.
