A Doctor Found A Monkey In My Mind
The little bastard is having a party in there.
I had a bike accident recently, and an MRI scan to check if anything important had dislodged in my skull. I sat in the waiting room until the doc came in. She had a grave look on her face.
“I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know how to tell you this. Something unusual came up in your scans. Something with two arms, two legs, and a tail.”
I was shocked to say the least.
“What is it doctor? A bacteria? Am I in trouble?”
“It’s a monkey, sir. And it’s taking up about twenty percent of your brain.”
I glared at her. This had to be a joke.
“A monkey — in my mind?”
“I’m afraid so, sir. It appears to have been there for a while. It’s settled into your frontal lobe and is having a hell of a time swinging on your neurons. We haven’t seen anything like it before, and because it’s shifting and twirling about — as monkeys do — there’s absolutely no chance of operating.”
So I went home with the monkey intact. I thought about how the animal might be affecting me. I’ve never finished a book. My fingernails are a mess. Multiple girlfriends have gotten upset with me for failing to finish Mean Girls. It’s not that I don’t find it…
