A Family Man’s Straightforward Guide To Garden Hose Nozzle Settings
With so many possibilities on the dials of modern garden hose nozzles and so many names that sound the same, sometimes it’s difficult to know which setting is right for the day’s task. Thanks to this handy guide, based on the real-life experiences of a friendly family man, you’ll always know exactly which nozzle setting to select for any job.
JET
You’ll find yourself using this impressive setting every day. It’s powerful enough to easily sweep your porch of unsightly leaves and yard debris without stripping petals off flowers.
DRIZZLE
This setting’s gentle cascade of water massages and nourishes the most delicate shrubs while allowing you to relax. Every time you use it, your stress uncoils and you talk like Snoop Dogg, circa 2010, for an hour. Just wait when your kids hear, they’ll love it! Fo’ shizzle, dizzle! Drizzle’s the shizzle!
RINSE
On a warm summer evening, when the mood is right, tickle your wife with a few flirty drops from this setting. You’ll be rewarded with an unforgettable night on the couch thanks to her scratched cornea. Wrong setting, Romeo.
