A Guide to Artisanal Coffee from the Macbeth Witches
Scene I. A cavern. In the middle, a Chemex.
Thunder. Enter the three Witches
First Witch
Thrice the phone alarm hath mew’d.
Second Witch
Thrice and once the hipster whined.
Third Witch
Drinker cries ’Tis time, ’tis time.
First Witch
Round about the Chemex go;
In the grinder coffee throw,
Beans that on your scale weigh
Grams of fifty for today.
Weigh the water ‘fore the pour,
Seven hundred grams, no more.
ALL
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and kettle bubble.
Second Witch
Boil in gooseneck kettle now;
Two-oh-five degrees allow.
Add the filter to the pot;
Pour the beans in filter slot.
Water spill on grounds so fine;
Coffee bloom will be the sign.
For a cup of powerful trouble,
CO2 from beans shall bubble.
ALL
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and kettle bubble.
Third Witch
Pour in circles winding out,
Four to come from gooseneck spout.
Think of beans from market found;
Tastes from foreign lands abound:
Costa Rica sweet and tart,
Kenya with a berry heart;
Tanzania tastes of cream,
Panama a chocolate dream.
Buy organic to feel smug,
Ethics poured into a mug,
Global news met with a shrug.
Why do more than pompous drinking?
Coffee’s ruin’d by too much thinking.
ALL
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and kettle bubble.
Second Witch
Drink the sacred hipster brew;
It only took an hour to do.
Sarah Hawley is a Los Angeles-based writer and former archaeologist who is currently working on several novels. She enjoys swing dancing, colorful socks, and sympathetic villains and is the co-host of The Wicked Wallflowers Club podcast. You can find her on Twitter at @mssarahhawley.
