A Guide To The Obligatory Man-With-Knife-Versus-Man-Without-Knife Fight Scene In Every Action Movie
Let’s set the scene. Our hero rushes into a new room. There’s no one in here, except for a hulking shadow in the corner — a hulking shadow with a knife. Two eyes peer from the darkness. Rattlesnake sound effect here.
It’s the villain, doing something ominous, like picking at his teeth with the knife. The knife’s way too big for what he’s doing, especially when it seems like a toothpick would be a more viable and way safer option. Maybe he’s cutting an apple into bite-size pieces. Villains love apples.
Then, some snappy dialogue. The villain says, “Your quest stops here, bub.” Bub? The hero locks eyes with knifer, “Are you threatening me?” The villain scoffs, “You’ll know it when I’m threatening you…” The hero responds, “Actually that’s the situation we’re in right now, and I’m not sure.” The villain clarifies, “Okay then, yes, I am threatening you.”
The villain takes the knife and flips it into another knife hold. He still has all his fingers; he must be very good. He swallows the last apple slice and locks eyes with the hero. The fight begins.
The most important thing to remember is that both fighters need to get the chance to shine: one of them is better at fighting and the other is just better prepared. The other most important thing to remember is that this fight needs to last more than six seconds. Somehow, the villain will keep punching the shit out of him, but he’ll never land a good blow with the knife. I’m going to be honest, the fight should be mostly kicks. Devastating, acrobatic, but very much non-lethal kicks.
Always, there’s a moment early in the fight where, in slow-mo, the knifer swings the knife, drops it from one hand to another, catches it, and then swings it the other way. And it always very nearly works. Despite how effective it always is, the villain will never do this move again.
After they’ve been fighting for like a minute, neither of them should tired, and no one should have been cut in the slightest. Which is crazy because that’s what knives do. Then, the hero gets cut exactly once. The fight stops for a second. The hero touches the cut and notices he’s bleeding. The villain smirks at him as if to say, “Yeah, that’s what knives do.”
Now proven mortal, the hero will attempt to goad the villain into dropping the knife and “fighting him like a man.” The villain obviously refuses. Despite what carrying around a massive knife might imply, he is very comfortable in his masculinity.
The villain charges forward, bearing down with a knife. The hero catches the blow, and now the fight becomes a contest of strength. The villains slowly pressing the knife downward, closer and closer to the hero’s eye. It would be really gross if the villain succeeds here. Then, the hero remembers that he should be kicking more, and he earns a brief respite.
But this fight scene always has two climaxes, so the villain charges again. The hero’s seemingly at his end, on his knees, exhausted, and the villain bears down on him with a knife. But, as the knife swings down for a killing blow, the hero catches the blade with his hand. Blood pours down his arm, and the villain is too stunned to do anything.
The hero, knife still stuck in his hand, stands to his full height, looking down on the now-knife-less villain. A triumphant pause. Then the hero headbutts him. Always headbutts him, which immediately knocks him out. You’d probably think that he’d hit him or kicked him hard enough earlier, but it’s always the headbutt that does it.
The hero stands over the crumpled villain on the floor. And, despite a minor concussion, he takes the time to come up with something cool to say as he casually removes the knife from his hand wound, “It was knife to see you.”
He drops the knife on the floor, he doesn’t need it, for some reason. Then he remembers he’s had a gun this whole time. It’s probably a good thing he didn’t use it. That “knife to see you” line was golden.
