A Michelin Star Menu Of Stuff That I, The Parent Of A Toddler, Have Sadly Eaten
Mélange of tortilla chips and sand-encrusted Cheerios hand-harvested from the depths of the diaper bag
Reduction of oatmeal and peanut butter, garnished with a sprinkling of coconut flakes
Pairing: Room temperature drip coffee, aged on the counter since yesterday, aroma of dish rag
Chilled applesauce on a bed of fermented lait de vache
Pairing: A thimble-size tasting of toddler’s leftover backwashed jus de pomme
Seared asparagus nestled in baby’s spit-glazed mashed banana, ground into the crevices of the high chair
Pairing: A swig of Pinot gris straight from the fridge, while contemplating what was just consumed
Foam of bubble bath, gently massaged into my mouth by the Chef herself
Pairing: Eau du bain
Pizza Margarita a Funghi di Trader Joe’s, matured several months in the unexplored cavern of the freezer
Pairing: Cafe au lait, lukewarm in a to-go cup, accompanied by notes of high pitched toddler tantrum
Potpourri of roasted almonds, cacao chips, and vintage raisin sec
