A Neighborhood Meeting On A Proposed “Indoor” Street Racing Bar
Where we pretend to answer some of your questions.
CITY OFFICIAL: Good evening, everyone. We are here to answer any questions you may have about a new addition to your neighborhood. The venue is described as “an experiential bar featuring street racing, food, and beverages.” They are requesting an alcohol license until 5 a.m. and an elongated outdoor patio.
BAR OWNER: I am the founder of Fast & Infuriated “Indoor” Street Racing Bar Experience, or FI“I”SRBE. What we provide is a unique “indoor” (air quotes) street racing experience for all. We have four other locations in LA, Miami, Tokyo, and Hooppole, IL. This is the perfect fifth location for us, not at all because of the excellent straightaway right next to the building. We are so happy to be here. (Makes a “namaste” gesture with his hands).
LAWYER: I am the attorney representing FI“I”SRBE. I want to add that we will not be making any changes to the building. As we state in the proposal, we expect very few patrons to be here after 9 p.m. If anyone has any questions, please raise your hand.
CONCERNED NEIGHBOR 1: Hi, I live across the street with my newborn twins and elderly mother. What exactly will be going on in the space? And why did you use air quotes around “indoor?”
