A Track By Track Analysis of Taylor Swift’s “Reputation”

Like others, I have used my ears to listen to this album. Here are my thoughts on this critically-acclaimed album. I expect it be critically-panned on the highway where I plan to blast it to boost morale during start/stop traffic.


…Ready For It?

Any album that uses ellipses apart of a rhetorical question is a good sign to me. My only issue with this track is her inability to address how she wants us to respond to her. Yeah, whatever, we got social media. But this is a brand new album! I expected this album to come with a pager.

End Game

This should be the last track on the album. It is literally called “End Game.” She had us get ready in the last track only to end it abruptly.

I Did Something Bad

At least you admit it. Unfortunately, you can’t swap tracks barely mid album in.

Don’t Blame Me

Okay.

Delicate

Humans are antiques slowly decaying each day. That is what this track is all about. Please do not drop us.

Look At What You Made Me Do

Appeal to your fanbase? Make a panini? Replace all birthday clowns with Bernie Sanders? I do not know. Whatever it is, I am sorry. Panini’s should be lightly toasted with a little crunch. If it is too crunchy it throws off the entire sandwich.

So It Goes…

Another use of an ellipse. This has to lead to something, right?

Gorgeous

Thank you kindly but I disagree.

Getaway Car

What is the make and model? I need something to look out for. You can’t say Getaway car without at least telling me its VIN number. You are six albums in. This should be common sense by now.

King of My Heart

Someone hasn’t watched Game of Thrones. This reign won’t last long.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

This just seems unnecessary but I will play along. My hips are a bit stiff. WD-40 only loosens you up so much. Or its the Kings doing. Maybe its a kink of his.

Dress

Gosh, I hope Taylor is never a witness to a crime. Because she really lacks specifics on this album.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Be more specific and maybe we could.

Call It What You Want

Vague.

New Year’s Day

That works too. Hell of a jump though. Let time do its thing. We will get there eventually.

Overall: On a scale from 1 to Rick Moranis in Little Shop of Horrors this album ranks up there with the first half of Honey, I Shrunk The Kids but never goes full Spaceballs.