Ad for MasterClass: Depression

INT. AMANDA’S BEDROOM. DAY

Tight on AMANDA, thirties, depressed, sitting on her bed. She smells her armpits.

AMANDA:
Oh yeah, I’d say I’ve hit the five day mark.

TITLE CARD:
Meet Your New Instructor

AMANDA:
I’m completely numb from the mind down.

TITLE CARD:
In her first ever online class.

AMANDA:
You want to know what I’ve “done” today?HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA lol, that’s good, that’s really good.

TITLE CARD:
Professional Depressed Person. Amanda Rosenberg.

AMANDA:
People think there’s only one way to be depressed, and I’m here to tell you… nuh-uh.

TITLE CARD:
Looking happy in public.
Isolating yourself for weeks at a time.
Tweeting cries for help disguised as memes.

Amanda’s V.O plays over footage of her scrolling endlessly on her phone, crying in the shower, and staring into the abyss.

AMANDA V.O:
I’m going to teach you the tricks of the trade. If you want to be successful at depression, you must first let it consume you. Go method. Think, Daniel Day Depression.

Shot of Amanda texting someone to cancel plans saying she “came down with food poisoning” then getting into bed.

TITLE CARD:
Amanda Rosenberg teaches Depression.

AMANDA:
Wait, the Masterclass thing is today? Like today today?

AMANDA V.O:
I’m Amanda Rosenberg and this is my Masterclass.

AMANDA:
Shit, I would love to but I have food poisoning. I’ll drop you a text next week when I’m feeling better. Let me know how it goes! sorry thx

Shot of Amanda in bed scrolling on her phone and eating Goldfish crackers (the 66oz box).

END