Adoption Profile For Cheddar, A Sweet Gerbil Who’s Definitely Not A Murderer
Let’s find Cheddar a new family!
If you’re looking for a small pet, you’re in luck! We’re extremely excited to profile Cheddar, a two-year-old gerbil, who’d love to have a new family. Cheddar is energetic, inquisitive, and most of all: cute. He’s so sweet, he could get away with murder!
Cheddar has a grey furry coat and weighs about a pound, which is typical for gerbils. But don’t worry. You can easily spot Cheddar by his sharp teeth and freakishly long claws, which he sometimes covers in little black gloves. So cute.
Gerbils love to burrow, and Cheddar is no exception. His cage is full of wonderful places for him to dig and hide. And when he’s not exercising or just staring into the void for hours, Cheddar can be found stashing toys, seeds, and zip ties. Sometimes he digs so much, it’s like he doesn’t want us to find what he’s burying!
Cheddar truly made the cage his own, completely transforming it within a few days of arriving. Out of a few sycamore twigs, he’s gnawed and whittled everything from wheels to three-inch daggers. We used to call it his “fun chamber,” until one of the wheels, literally hung by a thread, snapped and crushed three of our gerbils. Which was sad for all of us, especially for Cheddar, who accidentally gnawed on the thread.
It was even sadder the next day when nine of our other gerbils disappeared. We’re not sure what happened to them, but it left Cheddar on his own. When we found him alone in his cage, he was caked in gallons of his own blood — clearly from a nosebleed.
Cheddar loves company and we hope to place him with a family who owns other gerbils and pets. You can tell he clearly cares about animals by the way he stares when our older pets get euthanized, which he does every time it happens.
He’s moved a lot, so we’re hoping to find him a forever home, and one where his families don’t mysteriously die. He’s lost eight families in his life, and it’s obviously affected him.
Among his prized possessions are keepsakes from his time with them, which he’s not shy about. Carefully placed throughout his cage, you’ll find Polaroids, lockets, and teeth. They’re like personal trophies from his past, which we totally support.
Cheddar is well known in the community, too. He’s built a close relationship with local authorities, who clearly have a special bond with him. They’ve even asked us to report anything back, like excessive nosebleeds around other pets, to “Operation Cheddar.” Cute, huh?
Everyone seems to like him. Just last week Serial profiled Cheddar, too. If you’d like to learn more about him, we recommend listening to their latest season, episode five called “Killer Gerbils” (as in Awesome Gerbils). We still haven’t listened to it, but we imagine they only have good things to say about him.
Finally, we’re proud to announce that Cheddar was recently named our “hero of the month.” While cleaning his cage, one of our apprentices accidentally fell onto his dagger. We’re not sure how it happened, but Cheddar’s loud snarls alerted us. Unfortunately, we found the apprentice unresponsive with Cheddar on top, who had just pulled the dagger from his throat, obviously trying to help. They were both drenched in blood. That’s when we realized: his nose bleeds were worse than we thought!
We appreciate adopting a pet can be a scary thing to do, especially when they own their daggers. But we’d love to see Cheddar with a new family. So why not pay him a visit?
It won’t kill you.
