Advice To My Future Self From My Present Self
Dear Future Me,
First of all, congratulations on becoming a mega-multi-millionaire. People get touchy about money, but finding lucrative podcast sponsorships is no small feat — especially for a fantasy podcast called “My Favorite Dragons.” The pod sure had its detractors, like uncle Dave who said, “You just ramble about dragons you love in movies. Who wants to hear that crap?” But then your episode about Draco in Dragonheart (voiced Sir Sean Connery) went VIRAL, you got HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of downloads, and you became wealthy and famous. Then Uncle Dave got a tropical disease. So here’s my first piece of advice: never forget how wrong your haters were!
Future me, I want you to feel gratitude every single day. Obviously for your gorgeous wife, the French neuroscientist/fashion model Elise Elise. But also for finally becoming not lazy and completing all 478 backlogged personal to-do items in your planner, which I had marked as “urgent for life success” and “probably necessary to get a girlfriend.”
Right after I wrote this letter, you got fed up with a decade of daydreaming, making plans, and never following through. You cleaned out your (my) closet, learned how to cook like a chef, hit the gym daily, got down to 7% body fat, hired a style consultant, 10-xed your charisma, meditated for two weeks straight, visited…
