Alternative Presidents To Celebrate This Presidents’ Day
As much as I love getting a day off from my job at the bank, given the current state of the world, I can’t celebrate Presidents’ Day as its inventors intended: honoring the past and present leaders of the greatest country on earth and buying mattresses. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to take the day off and buy my annual mattress, but this year I’m celebrating other, non-partisan presidents instead. So should you.
1. Ralph Ashcroft
Ralph Ashcroft has been president of First National Savings Bank for over ten years, overseeing six branches and 15 ATM vestibules in the tristate area. President Ashcroft really cares about his customers and the community. He set up online banking for easy deposits and created a scholarship in honor of the victims of that New Year’s Eve crash. Also, he’s my dad.
2. Dr. Claire Sutherford
Dr. Claire Sutherford is the president of my alma mater, Blackridge State College. She’s a woman, but has the title of president, which is really cool and progressive. For transparency’s sake, I will note that she’s a hard ass when it comes to the honor code and has a completely unreasonable definition of plagiarism. She also refused to speak to my father when he called to discuss my academic probation and said she didn’t know…
