An Orientation About Your Role As My Personal Cannon Operator

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I know the job market out there is tough, so you must be ecstatic that I’ve hired you to be my personal cannon operator. To help you get acquainted, I prepared a brief orientation for this unique position.

I don’t feel fully welcome in any situation until my arrival is punctuated with a 21-cannon salute. That’s where you come in. Whenever I arrive somewhere…