Annoying Things Every Stand Up Comedian Has Heard After A Show
Shocking how often audiences say this stuff.
“You know, people tell me I should try stand-up.”
“It must be so hard just to get up there.”
“You should come down to my office! Bet you’d get a lot of material there.”
“That was great. You should be on TV.”
“I think some of that language was inappropriate for a church fundraiser.”
“It’s probably a coincidence, but, like, half an hour of your act was word-for-word identical to an episode of Barney Miller I watched last night. Commercials and everything.”
“When your eyes turned black and all the lights in the room darkened, I wasn’t sure, but were you screaming in Latin?”
“I know I said this already, but you should really come down to my office for material.”
“I think some of that language was inappropriate for a high-school fundraiser.”
“I wasn’t aware so much of your act was going to be breakdancing.”
“Great job taking down that heckler. I really didn’t think you could make that jump from the stage.”
“That made me never want to eat ice cream sandwiches again.”
“I wish you had warned the audience we were going to be hit with so much glass.”
“I think some of that language was inappropriate for an 80th birthday party.”
“My office is really nearby. We could just swing by for a second.”
“So do you write that all out ahead of time, or do you just riff?”
“Were the walls supposed to bleed like that?”
“I think some of that language was inappropriate for my office.”
