Are You Listening To A Morning Radio Show Or Driving Your Middle-Aged Parents Somewhere?

The new quiz that’s popular with captive audiences across the US

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1. Someone keeps interrupting the music to tell you about the weather.
2. You’re receiving a detailed play-by-play of the traffic jam you’re actively stuck in.
3. The topic of dating comes up repeatedly, through increasingly clumsy segues.
4. Although the conversation’s directed at you, nobody’s listening to anything you say.
5. Much of the “playful banter” comes off as vaguely toxic or downright mean.
6. You’re getting lots of unsolicited advice, most of which isn’t even relevant to your life.
7. Obscure local businesses are being name-dropped suspiciously often.
8. The longer you listen to the conversation, the more you realize it isn’t a true exchange of ideas but just a couple people saying whatever they can to avoid a single moment of dead air.
9. You’d give anything to make the sex jokes stop.
10. Reasons and reminders to call punctuate the conversation like clockwork.
11. You’re positive you heard all this last week.
12. Every time you’re tempted to tune out, you remember that these people sometimes give you free stuff.

Both: 1–12

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Hello, Internet? I’d Like A Word About All These Targeted Ads Hinting That I’m Going To Die Alone

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