HUMOR | SATIRE
As a 24 Year-Old, I Am Seriously Amazed By This Anti-Aging Exfoliator
It literally makes you go back in time
Look. Look at this. Look at how smooth my face is. This side and this side. This side and this side. There are practically no wrinkles.
And now, now I’m going to apply this $56 anti-aging exfoliator that I ordered online. The ads were everywhere and I just had to see the results myself. See how it glides smoothly over my iridescent cheeks? Like a skater on a newly zamboni-ed ice rink. Now, watch as I massage it gently into my immaculate shiny marble-goddess complexion. Wait for it. Wait for it. See how I wipe away the scrub with this handy reusable bamboo cloth? Aaaaaaaand…..
Viola! Wow. It’s like I am 23 again. I am glowing. Like I am 23. Can you believe this product?
Wait, now look at this side of my glowing skin and now this side. This side and this side. This side and this side. Are you hypnotized yet? Enjoy the symmetry. This side and this side. See how I’ve never been cursed with acne or eczema or scarring or hormones or the toxic effects of pollution? It’s like I was raised in bubble of clean air and affirmations and hyaluronic acid. I am alive with the radiance of someone who has been untouched by job loss and mortgage payments…
