As Parents, It’s Our Responsibility To Make Sure This Kindergarten Graduation Is Unforgettable

Adam Dietz
Slackjaw
Published in
4 min readJul 25, 2022

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Josh Greinier on Flickr

When one thinks back on the significant moments of their lives, a few choice memories inevitably come to mind. I’m talking about the seminal stuff, like walking down the aisle, holding your newborn for the first time, and of course, your kindergarten graduation. No longer a Pre-K kiddo, but not quite a first grader, you never forget the total and absolute rush that comes from having successfully conquered cutting, pasting, and listening to someone read to you for eight hours a day. For many of us, that kindergarten graduation was one of the great achievements of our lives and one that we reflect on daily. As parents of the Thompson Elementary graduating class of 2022, I believe it is our duty to provide our children with a kindergarten graduation ceremony that they’ll never forget.

Let’s start with the montage. I’m proposing something long, at least 45 minutes, that features shoddily-taken photos from the major events that occurred throughout the year: Field day, Grandmas come to class, and local author losing the children’s attention almost immediately. All of these indelible moments will be prominently featured in the overstuffed yet tear-jerking tribute. Of course, no slideshow would be complete without the right music serving as a backdrop. We need something that plays up the…

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Adam Dietz
Slackjaw

Comedy writer with work in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, etc. Editor of the Yapjaw newsletter.