Ask Meredith: Advice For Lifetime Movie Characters

Adri_Writes
Nov 24, 2019 · 4 min read
Image copyright: Incendo. (Fair Use)

Dear Meredith,

Ever since I started treatment for a serious, nondescript illness, our nanny has grown overly attached to my newborn son and husband.

Last week she said the cleaners lost the dress I bought for my husband’s company party. I’m convinced she took it as part of a plot to steal my family. My husband thinks stress and hormones are making me delusional.

What do you think?

A Desperate Mother

Dear A Desperate Mother,

Having a baby can challenge the most stable marriage! You’re not delusional. Your husband only said that because he’s already impregnated the nanny, who convinced him to have you committed so she can marry him and rename your baby “Jackson Carter.” Try not to be too mad at him. Babies are an adjustment for Daddy too!

Do you have any friends who can check into your nanny’s backstory or run her license plate? See if she has a storage unit containing the body of the last person whose identity she stole.

For self-care, spend a weekend alone at your secluded, lakeside cottage. The fresh air will clear your head, while the familiar surroundings will be a tactical advantage for a last stand.

Trust me,

M

Dear Meredith,

My father raised me alone after my mother died from a serious, nondescript illness. We do everything together: golfing, horseback riding, tandem bicycling. I recently went away to college an hour away, and it’s been hard for us both.

He started dating online last month, and the service matched him with a woman who says she’s my mother’s long-lost, younger sister. I know it’s normal for babies to get switched at birth and for desperate but loving parents to abduct babies after a loss, but I can’t help feeling like something’s off.

She’s already moved in and started working at his brokerage. I told Dad he’s moving too fast, but he says I should be happy for him, and be more independent. He thinks I should join an activity and make more friends at school.

Please help!

A Daughter’s Nightmare

Dear A Daughter’s Nightmare,

An empty nest can be hard for both the child taking flight and for the parent. A new significant other can make it even more challenging.

You may think you know your dad’s girlfriend’s motivations, but you don’t. She may want you dead and your father all to herself, but or maybe she’s trying to kill you both to inherit his estate. Perhaps she was an envious classmate of your mother’s who saw an opportunity to steal her life. There’s really no way to know.

Your dad’s right about putting yourself out there. Join the cheerleading squad! You’d be surprised how often a squad member will recognize your dad’s girlfriend from her past life. Is she hiding from a cult? That one grad student who killed her professor/lover’s wife? Your new squad will know!

Do you share notes with a boy-next-door type in Calculus? He probably has a cousin or sibling in law enforcement. Run her license plate. Also, see if she has a storage unit containing the body of the last person whose identity she stole.

Trust me,

M

Dear Meredith,

My daughter and I had a strained relationship until her teens. I was hospitalized with a serious, nondescript illness, which made us closer. I should’ve told her about my past then, but I was afraid if she found out I was trafficked as a teen and worked my way up through the ranks of a South American cartel as a drug smuggler and enforcer, she’d never forgive me. I escaped before I met her now absentee father at an ivy league school, which I attended using a fake name. I thought she’d never need to know.

Well, boy was I wrong! After all her hard work opening her own cupcake shoppe, it broke my heart to see her grand opening ruined by El Jefe, who kidnapped her in order to settle a decades-old score with me.

Her hot firefighter friend (who fosters kittens) and my argumentative but attractive new neighbor helped me rescue her. We shut down the entire cartel, but her shoppe is a shambles, and she still isn’t speaking to me.

How do I get her to forgive me?

A Mother’s Love

Dear A Mother’s Love,

Time heals all wounds. She may be upset now, but eventually she’ll understand. Ask your neighbor and the firefighter to help clean up shoppe… again! A little fresh paint, a few cupcakes (and maybe a little wine!) will go a long way towards healing.

Meanwhile, remember it’s been stressful for you too! Take some “me time” to read a book, relax at a spa, tidy up your home, or maybe clean out your storage unit.

Trust me,

M

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Adri_Writes

Written by

Weird Fiction. Weirder Reality.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Adri_Writes

Written by

Weird Fiction. Weirder Reality.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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