Blazing Hookup And Other Roller Coasters To Ride This Summer

Get back into the thrill of it!

The Vaccinator:

Climb to over 300 feet at a speed of 70 miles an hour. Get a dose of the COVID vaccine. Have your photo snapped at the top of the ride for convenient social media sharing. Scream because it’s summer again! Also because last year’s shorts are too tight. Or maybe it’s just the centripetal force of the coaster pushing at your stomach? Yeah, that’s totally it.

Adrenaline Rush:

It’s full speed ahead now as you go from 0–60 in just one second through places you haven’t been this past year. Plan like ten summer vacations. Free yourself from worrying about coronavirus and get back to worrying about bedbugs.

The Family Gatherer:

Make up for lost time on this dizzying coaster, where you can control the spin should someone say something out of line — which you know they will. Because now that…