Breakthroughs Under Your Feet: Black Holes And Jazz Records
Between 1969 and 1973, the Time Travel Department was performing tests with something they called a “time tunnel.” The science behind this great feat is shaded in mystery, due to the unique method employed by the department. What the group colloquially called “bangin’ some shit around” was much like a jazz combo or the modern-day comedian. The scientists would get together and “jam” or “riff” on an idea. This technique has its place when you’re hammering out a minor chord progression or explaining the difference between men and women to a crowd of yokels at the Andover Laugh Hole, but it’s considered irresponsible when working with antimatter and other dealings of the unknown.
What we do know from the various eyewitness accounts and filed reports is that the team accidentally harnessed a black hole. It was decided that Maurice, a lovable vagrant with a constant smile on his face, would be the first to travel through the time tunnel. Maurice was given a quick pep talk about what to expect, handed a tuna sandwich, grabbed by his wheelchair and was gingerly ghost-ridden into the perpetual black unknown. He never returned.
As months went by, the lazier scientists began throwing the contents of their wastebaskets into the hole, an activity that escalated to…
