Buy Our Miracle Weight Loss Product That Is Absolutely Not A Tapeworm!
Results 100% guaranteed.
Ladies! Are your jeans feeling a little tight after the festive season? Do you exist within a consumer society that manufactures insecurity in order to sell overpriced products? Excellent! You’re talking to the right people.
Our miracle pill is designed to take you from “chubba chubba” to “hubba hubba” in just a couple of weeks! Because of mysterious, cutting edge SCIENCE, you can eat literally whatever you want during the program. What’s more, you’ll be delighted to hear that our product is not a tapeworm.
To get started, simply purchase the starter pill containing our patented advanced molecular recipe and not tapeworm eggs. All you have to do is swallow those not-eggs down and your transformation will begin.
It will take a few days for the SCIENCE to hatch, grow, and attach to your intestinal wall. On an entirely unrelated note, did you know that tapeworms have actual retractable hooks and circular suckers to keep themselves fixed in place? Neither did we! Mike from IT just told us. Must be quite difficult to get the little fuckers out. Anyway, that’s not your problem and you know why don’t you, you sexy minx! Say it with me: “I did not just ingest a tapeworm”.
