What if a man fought a mature gorilla? It’s a question that people on social media keep asking, and it pisses me off how wrong they get it.
How many times do I have to explain this to you? A silverback gorilla weighs up to 500 pounds. It can lift ten times its body weight. It has a stronger bite than a great white shark. I’ve studied over 25,000 online gorilla videos, and I will educate a fool!
Silverback Gorilla vs. A Tough Guy
Last week I was utterly dismayed to see a highly inaccurate Instagram reel about UFC fighters taking on gorillas, so I dropped these truth bombs in the comments:
The gorilla could bite you in half like a baby carrot.
The gorilla could put its paw around your skull and pop your head like a grape.
The gorilla could flick you with its pinky and explode your pancreas.
You want to fight this killing machine? You an idiot!
Gorilla vs. The Best Human Fighter
Okay, say scientists genetically engineer the perfect fighter: A man with the strength of Andre The Giant, the martial arts skills of Bruce Lee, and the creepy invulnerability of the Russian mystic Rasputin.
