Cat Or Your Mother?

Carlos Greaves
Jul 7, 2020 · 1 min read
Photo by Aubrey Kirkham from PublicDomainPictures.net
  1. Is very vocal when they disapprove of something you’ve done.
  2. Eats meals at weird hours.
  3. Judges you for being out of the house for too long.
  4. Has never liked a single one of your friends or significant others.
  5. Demands to spend time with you at the most inconvenient times.
  6. Brings you presents you didn’t ask for.
  7. Has a long and complicated personal grooming regimen.
  8. Shows their affection in bizarre and often counterintuitive ways.
  9. Never lets you sleep in.
  10. Has no idea what queer feminist theory is and, quite frankly, doesn’t care.
  11. Is not about to change their routine no matter how hard you try to convince them.
  12. Is obsessed with birds for some reason.
  13. Never uses any of the presents you get them.
  14. If left alone in your house, they will rearrange your things.
  15. At the end of the day, you still love them, even if they sometimes drive you crazy.

Cat: 1–15

Your Mother: 1–15

Still not sure what you’ve been feeding twice a day?

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Carlos Greaves

Written by

Carlos is an engineer, writer, and occasional Bruno Mars impersonator based in Boston. He’s also the editor of the satirical news blog and sketch show RF News

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Carlos Greaves

Written by

Carlos is an engineer, writer, and occasional Bruno Mars impersonator based in Boston. He’s also the editor of the satirical news blog and sketch show RF News

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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