Come Hither, Tarmac! It’s Been Far Too Long!
Hey!
Yeah, just landed! I’m on the tarmac right now. Oh god, she’s gorgeous!
You have no idea how good this feels… No, the flight was smooth. Not much turbulence. No delays… I mean I finally get to say tarmac!
I haven’t flown since Covid started, and that’s a lot of months of not saying tarmac my brother! I’ve been aching!
I’m not alone — half the passengers are on their phones saying tarmac. It’s a tarmac orgy in here. It’s so right, so awesome. We’re peeking out the window like we just landed on an alien planet and the only familiar thing is the hard, taut tarmac below. We’re very excited.
Check it out — normally it’s awkward if you mention tarmac if you’re not on a plane, right? And saying tarmac to yourself isn’t as satisfying.
Sure, you could watch a movie or TV show where a plane lands and say “Look at that sweet ass tarmac” or something, but that’s just lame.
The best way to experience tarmac is to be on the fucking tarmac, you know?
In the days leading up to the flight I swear I was thinking about tarmac all the time. It was driving me nuts.
If you haven’t flown in a while, your tarmac is all bottled up.
Oh! The plane is moving again. I was hoping we’d stay on the tarmac a bit longer so I could maximize this tarmac-saying opportunity. Hang with me buddy! I don’t have much time. I gotta get this out of my system…
Tarmac! Tarmac! Tarmac!
Oh my gosh! Others are joining me! We’re all chanting it now! Tar-mac! Tar-mac! Tar-mac! This is so great!
I never realized that tarmac is really a good chant word. Two syllables are best for chant words. Tar-mac! Tar-mac!
Bro, this is your chance too! Don’t squander it! Ask me what she looks like!
The tarmac? Oh, dude, she’s in great shape. No potholes or divots. She’s long, lustrous, and smooth. Just beautiful… The landing strip is laid out wide and open beneath me. Holy fuck!
The jetway is almost attached now. I’m about to explode… Let’s say it together! So close now…
Tarmac… Tarmac…
Just. Like. That.
TAR-MAAAAAAC!
Jesus Christ!
Whew.
Dude, once I get off this tarmac, I’m gonna need a cigarette.
