Confidential Memo To Damon Lindelof Re: Watchmen Sequel
TO: Damon Lindelof
FROM: Casey Bloys, Programming Chief, HBO
RE: WATCHMEN 2: WHO’S ZOOMING WHO?
Hey there, big guy! Belated congrats on Watchmen — so prescient! The white supremacists, the abusive cops, everyone wearing masks. It’s like you had a crystal ball and smacked us in the eyeballs with 2020 way back in 2019. All those Emmy nominations AND the IGN Summer Movie Award for Best Comic Book TV Series! That’s showing Umbrella Academy what’s what.
I know, I know. “Quit blowing wind up my super-skirt, Bloys!” Fair enough. Let me get right to it:
HBO would like you to reconsider making a second season of Watchmen.
Damon, we heard you when you said: “I’m fresh out of big ideas!” Which is why the HBO-bots got out Casey’s Magic Whiteboard and brainstormed some white-hot lightning bolts for your personal use. Check out these kickass concepts, all yours for the taking:
- We shoot the whole thing on Zoom. Safety first! At least, that’s what our underwriters are telling us. 😈 If Parks and Rec and 30 Rock could pull it off, just think what Damon Lindelof could do! Maybe Watchmen-universe Congress passes restrictive work-from-home laws for vigilantes? Or how about a malevolent voyeur (John Malkovich? James Franco? Andy Samberg?) who installs spy-cams in our heroes’ bedrooms. Perhaps a reality TV set-up (think Real World: Tulsa) where everyone spills their costume fetishes into confession-cams. Just spit-balling here!
- Ms. Manhattan! We’re assuming Angela Abar gets Dr. Manhattan’s powers — that’s what you were doing with that whole egg business, right? We can’t wait to see electric-blue Regina King blowing shit up! But “Dr. Manhattan 2” could be confusing. Consider Ms. Manhattan — it’s sassy! It’s feminist! It’s girl power! Party City wants a costume design in time for Halloween. Other possibilities: Vengeance Gal, Indigo Fist, Professor Pow, the Flying Nun.
- Everyone hates Asians. Focus groups loved the racism in Season One, but the whole black thing feels played out. So what if this time around, everyone hates Asians? Kung flu, Cold War, feels zeitgeisty. What was Lady Trieu’s kid’s name? Blan, Bian, Bon-Bon? Sorry, I’m terrible with accents. Let’s age her up a little — Gen Z, Asian, AND a clone, now that’s a great Big Bad. (And she could fall in love. See Rorshach Junior below.)
- Rorshach Junior. Season One was killer, but it was missing a few things — heartthrobs and action figures, for two. So dig this: Walter Kovacs had a fling with an underworld mob queen and unbeknownst to him, she had a little Walt! Now this kid’s nearly as out there as the old man — he works at an indie record store by day — and when mom gets whacked by a rival gang, he puts on bicycle shorts and Daddy’s mask to avenge her death! There’s got to be some brooding Disney Channel teen looking to transition into grown-up stuff. Feels like the breakout star already.
- Nudity. Hear us out. You think people watched Game of Thrones for the dragons? If we already have sexy characters running around in spandex, is some bare backside too much to ask for? Think of all the people who would hear your scathing commentary on contemporary American society if we just showed a little side-boob.
- Not Tulsa. Yes, it worked for Season One, but have you ever actually been there?
- President Kelsey Grammar. Robert Redford decides not to run for re-election in Season One and the top candidates turn into goo. So why not Grammar? He still owes us a project. Open for discussion on this one.
- Crossover episode. What if Ms. Manhattan (LOVE THAT NAME!) took out Bill Hader’s Barry? Or Zendaya invites Rorschach Junior to the big dance at the Euphoria high school? Yeah, yeah, it’s fan service but aren’t we doing this for the fans?
Consider this greenlit. Can I have Luna send over the contracts? Not going to lie, we don’t have a lot of content in the can right now and HBO Max isn’t going to feed itself. Let’s get moving — I smell Saturn Awards!
