Custody Of Jason: The Final Chapter

Anyway, have a great summer Pam, and I’ll see you the Saturday after Labor Day, which I believe is the 14th.

Tianna Maye
Oct 29 · 3 min read
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Photo by Keitravis Squire on Unsplash

Hey Pam,

I’m so glad we’ve finally come to an amicable agreement on the custody of our son. I was, at first, disappointed that you were going to have Jason over the summer, as I was planning on taking him to the annual Voorhees family reunion. It was a stab to the heart. But like you said, I’ll get to spend the holidays with him over winter break. At least I’ll finally be able to get him started in hockey, like his old man. I just know he’ll kill it as a goalie on the rink. From there, we’ll alternate, like all the families are doing these days.

And I agree: enrolling him in that summer camp you were talking about will be a great opportunity for him to sharpen his social skills. I can just see our little lady-killer out there all outdoorsy hacking away at archery, arts & crafts, and obstacle races. He’ll knock down anything that gets in his way, eviscerating the other campers. There’s even canoeing and swimming lessons to boot! Hopefully, this will help him overcome his shyness and encourage him to verbalize and execute his intentions amongst his peers, rather than getting drowned out by them. I know, I know, the kid is built like a defensive linebacker, but he’s really a gentle giant. And neither of us liked the idea of him hanging around all those teenagers in the neighborhood. It’s better that he hangs with kids his own age.

We’ve had our disagreements on how to raise our little “Big Guy,” and I still think it’s important that you don’t always do everything for him. He has to learn to get out in the world and do for himself. The skills and resourcefulness gained through life’s challenges and oppositions are what will turn him into the man he’s meant to be. I think the one thing we can see eye-to-eye on is that we wouldn’t want to disarm him of his potential. There’s no saying how far he could go — he could become a businessman in Manhattan, the president… heck, Jason could even be the first Voorhees in Space.

As for my plans this summer, I’m going to take the time to reflect on my own actions. I feel I should apologize to you for dredging up what you told me in confidence during our divorce proceedings. It was wrong of me to have used your mental health against you. Just because you heard voices in your head saying “kill, kill, kill, ch, ch, ch,” doesn’t mean that you’re actually going to do it. My lawyer convinced me that it would help me win in our divorce, but I now know that there are no winners in divorce. And the only one who suffers is Jason, which is the greatest atrocity.

I can safely say that I feel one hundred percent comfortable with Jason under your guardianship. Besides, I know that if anything were to happen to him, you wouldn’t be able to go on. You probably wouldn’t have the strength to do anything. And you, of all people, couldn’t hurt a fly.

Finally, I want to say that I’m glad we’ve learned how to communicate with each other better rather than going on and on. It would be horrific if Jason had to repeat the same nightmare over and over again for decades. Almost as if he were in some never-ending cycle. Who would want to watch that?

Anyway, have a great summer Pam, and I’ll see you the Saturday after Labor Day, which I believe is the 14th.

Elias

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Tianna Maye

Written by

Los Angeles based screenwriter, humor writer, and theme park fanatic.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Tianna Maye

Written by

Los Angeles based screenwriter, humor writer, and theme park fanatic.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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