Dear Pastor, Regarding Your Sloppy Virginity Metaphor
Dear 1990s Youth Pastor,
After watching an episode of The Golden Girls last week, my 9-year-old daughter asked me why “old people” — who can’t have babies — would want to have sex. I tackled it head-on by calmly and matter-of-factly explaining to her that we would “talk about it later.”
For the next 24 hours, I wracked my brain. Why do people have sex? Or specifically, what do you tell a little girl about non-procreative sex? And why hadn’t I prepared for this question? Especially if I was planning on exposing her to that sassy minx Blanche Devereaux.
As I reflected on the advice of “trusted adults” from my own childhood, your words came to mind. It was Sunday night in the United Methodist Church multipurpose room when you presented this gem on women’s sexuality: “Girls, when a man rents a house, he doesn’t mind having a used couch. But when he buys a house, he wants new furniture.”
Even after using whatever standards are set for grown-ass men talking to teenage girls about their hymens, this metaphor feels sloppy. There were just too many unanswered questions.
- How pristine did our “couches” need to be to get husbands?
- Would our husbands be pure and fresh like us or would we have to settle for any urine-soaked, bed-bug-ridden…
