Did My Husband Just Break Every Bone In His Body, Or Does He Have A Tiny Cold?
1. “There’s no way I’m going to work today.”
2. “Don’t be silly. Of course I’m going to work today.”
3. “Honey, can you hand me the remote? Yeah, it’s two inches away, but I’m so weak. I can barely move.”
4. “I don’t need help with anything! I can feed myself just fine, and I definitely DO NOT need ‘assistance’ in the bathroom.”
5. “Yeah, I haven’t moved from the couch in twelve hours — so what?”
6. “Alrighty! Just finished mowing the lawn and chopping enough firewood for the entire winter. Need anything else before I go rock climbing?”
7. “Babe, can you get me more Tylenol? The pink bubblegum kind? I know it’s for the kids, but pretty pleeeeeease?”
8. “Painkillers are for the weak.”
9. “Ugh, this is SO inconvenient. Why does my body have to betray me like this? Guess I have to cancel my weekend plans.”
10. “It’s not ideal, but there’s no reason to cancel my plans. Whitewater rafting, let’s gooooo!”
11. “My head hurts. My arms hurt. My legs hurt. Everything hurts. I can’t stand it! When is this misery going to end? WHEN?”
