Do You Even Know How Long A Day Is When You Don’t Start Drinking In The Afternoon?
And other questions to seriously consider before you get sober.
Since I got sober, my life has changed for the better in every way, blah, blah, blah. However, there are a few things that I wish people had fucking told me before I took the decision to quit drinking forever.
Obviously, I’m screwed now, but in case you are still on the fence between AA and the beer garden, here are three things to consider before you do something you sincerely regret.
1. Your idea of fun will change irrevocably.
Once upon a time I turned the music down at a party, stood on a chair, and told a room full of good looking adults that it was time for Musical Bumps.
“When the music stops you sit down! Last one sitting is out!”
Later, at a nightclub, I moonlighted as a student of contemporary dance, refusing to speak, except through the language of movement. For hours.
Another time, at a house party, I challenged a handsome stranger to a race down three flights of stairs on my hands. When I had beaten him, I bounded straight back up the stairs to find another stranger to race.
