Escape From The Prison Of Unmet Potential: The Video Game!

From the makers of Zelda.

Laura LeeLun
Oct 2, 2019 · 3 min read
Image by StartupStockPhotos from Pixabay

Trapped in a prison of your own making, you must battle guards, slay monsters, and defeat your greatest foe yet: your own crushing self-doubt. Follow this guide to complete each level and win the greatest prize of all — a golden key that unlocks freedom from society’s definition of success.

Level 1: Shakespearean Subterfuge

Level 2: Acing the Test

Level 3: Solving a Riddle

Level 4: Evading Sea Monsters

Level 5: Conquering Temptations

You finally hit land where you must perform menial tasks to collect coins to Uber home. A mountain of unopened mail looms. The final challenge awaits: sort through the mail to locate the key that opens the door to your professional goals, while resisting the urge to click on any alumni newsletters.

Doing so would erase years of therapy and result in an immediate return to level one.

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Thanks to Megan Broussard

Laura LeeLun

Written by

Comedy writer, member of Quick Pickle sketch troupe, co-host of Riff Raff Revolution podcast.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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