Everybody Get A Load Of This New T-Shirt — It’s Only Going To Fit This Once
As soon as this thing hits the hamper, the ride is over.
Alright. Family meeting. Everybody listen up.
As you may or may not have noticed, ol’ Dad has a sharp new t-shirt, fresh out of the mail from the children’s hospital 5K we were going to run last weekend if any of us had marked it on the calendar. For once in my life, I’m wearing something new and feeling relatively good about myself. We need to make the most of this time because after one trip through the laundry, it will make me look like a pregnant man giving birth to a pair of old jeans.
Over the next couple of days, you’ll notice your dad out and about a little more often. Kids, I’ll be stopping by the school for pickup, and I will be taking advantage of any excuse whatsoever to get out of the car without a misshapen shirt that looks like I’m wearing a training bra and smuggling a throw pillow.
Hon, if you’d like to invite your parents over for dinner, now’s the time.
I’m not saying we should go do our fancy family portrait, but some kind of whimsical session out in a field or a forest wouldn’t be completely out of the question. When the dryer strikes midnight, this magic shirt may very well turn into the new backup…
